Wednesday, August 16, 2006

DUmmies Fantasize About A President Al Gore Paradise



Remember the movie, It's A Wonderful Life?. In it the James Stewart character was allowed to see how miserable things would have been for his home town if he had never been alive. The DUmmies are now doing just the opposite. They are fantasizing about what a WONDERFUL paradise we would now be living in if only Al Gore had become President in 2001 as you can see in this DUmmie FANTASY titled, "Finish the following sentence... If Al Gore were president..." In the REAL reality, it is like Paradise Lost for the DUmmies. All their frustrations can be traced back to Al Gore LOSING back in 2000 and it has been downhill for them ever since. So let us now indulge their fantasies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if he would have been on Karenna's dance ticket at the 2000 Gore Inaugural Ball, is in the [brackets]:




Finish the following sentence... If Al Gore were president...




[I'll give it a try as soon as I quit laughing.]



If Al Gore were president, all the US soldiers and Iraqis killed in Bush's Iraq adventure would be alive today. Mind-blowing to think about it, isn't it?




[If Al Gore were president, we would still be debating whether to institute economic sanctions on the Taliban. Mind-blowing to think about it, isn't it?]




911 would not have happened.




[Yeah. The terrorists would have been so humbled by the awesome presence of President Al Gore that the thought of perpetrating 911 would never have occured to them.]




9/11 would NOT have happened.




[Another DUmmie chimes in with the same fantasy.]




No 9-11 scale attack would have happened.



[When it rains DUmmie fantasies, it POURS.]




we would either be driving electric high-breads or Smart cars, ...the nation would be building an intra and interstate mass transit system based on magnetic levitation trains, cold fusion electrical generation would be a reality, the federal debt would be two thirds paid off, America's standard of living would have advanced to almost total elimination of poverty and hunger, America would have a national health care insurance program for everyone and the republican party would have all but disappeared.




[Everybody would be driving around in clean energy hovercraft and the EVIL Republicans would have voluntarily jumped into a giant quicksand pit.]




nothing of the last 5 and 1/2 years would have happened. gutting of or social programs, tax cuts wouldn't have happened, at least until the debt was paid off and it would have under the policies of an Al Gore Administration. the only problem with all this is I have to come back to reality and face the music of now.




[Tax cuts wouldn't have happened. Taxes would have been RAISED. Isn't that just wuuuunderful!!!]




Life would be wonderful!!! I wouldn't have to apologize to my grandkids for the horrid world I'm leaving them, and we wouldn't be banging our heads against the wall at all the incredible events that we have before us, today.
Just think of all the citizens of the world who would still be living.




[Life would be wuuuuunnnnnderful!!! Even our doo-doo wouldn't stink!]




. . . . the Kyoto Accord would be seen as the first step . . . toward a solution to global warning.




[The Kyoto Accord would have limited the hot air emissions from Al Gore's mouth.]




I would be looking into earning a Bachelor's Degree
after I get my Associate's Degree. I would have the confidence that I could possibly get a damn job after graduating AND continue my education.



[I wouldn't be drooling like a moronic loser blaming his personal failures on Bush.]



If Al Gore was president, I would be able to use the Pell Grant and probably other educational incentives to become a teacher (community college, not K-12) or anything else I wanted to become. As it stands now, I'll be lucky to get a 2 year degree at all, much less try for a 4 year degree. And I'll be lucky if I can find a damn job at all.




[As it is now, you'll be lucky to cross a street without drenching yourself in self-pitying drool.]




My House Wouldn't Be So Filthy




[And your body odor would be tolerable.]




The angels would not be weeping.




[The Jason Leopolds would not be leaping.]




...I would be sleeping better at night.




[Your constipation would be cured.]




Many of my friends and fellow citizens would still be alive in New Orleans




[Katrina would have swerved away from the Gulf Coast under a President Al Gore.]




The whole world would be a better place!




[The WHOLE UNIVERSE would be just hunky-dory!]




Social Security would be in a lock box safe from the pork stained hands of the Bushites.




[Would prosthetic crotch enhancers also be in that lock box?]




the after affects of the whore Katrina wouldnt have existed. Period.



[Katrina wouldn't have even existed. Period.]



California and the rest of the west wouldn't keep burning every year. We would have had systems installed to contain the fires or strips of land converted to be used as fire breaks or both.




[There would have been automatic sprinkler systems in the middle of the wilderness and FREE gumdrops for all!]



* * * * * * * * * * * * * *




I have a VERY SPECIAL offer for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn this summer but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!

11 Comments:

Anonymous John F Not Kerry said...

"There would have been automatic sprinkler systems in the middle of the wilderness"

There is a funny commercial on the radio these days about some whacko calling a sprinkler company to install sprinklers in the national forest system to prevent forest fires because of careless campers. It is very funny, because of the plausibilty of the moonbat environmentalist making that call.

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Basilisk said...

I would be looking into earning a Bachelor's Degree after I get my Associate's Degree. I would have the confidence that I could possibly get a damn job after graduating AND continue my education.

If Al Gore was president, I would be able to use the Pell Grant and probably other educational incentives to become a teacher (community college, not K-12) or anything else I wanted to become. As it stands now, I'll be lucky to get a 2 year degree at all, much less try for a 4 year degree. And I'll be lucky if I can find a damn job at all.


Allow me to finish the thought:

"...since I'm such a frickin' MORON that I need the government to fill out my Pell Grant application for me. I'm too stupid to fill out all those words and things like everyone else who needs a Pell Grant. I'm also too stupid to earn a Bachelor's Degree and find a job like everyone else...but Al Gore would have changed my diaper and done all this for me!"

As for me, I got my Pell Grant and I have a job, all during the Bush presidency. I have no sympathy whatsoever.

I am, however, glad. We already have enough stupid teachers...we don't need any more.

9:10 PM  
Blogger JorgXMcKie said...

We'd all have flying cars, like on the Jetsons. Computer spam wouldn't exist, Pres. Gore wouldn't let it. No one would get sick or die anymore. Movie stars and producers and directors would all get millions and millions of dollars to make movies, but movies and the DVDs of them would be free.

Cindy Sheehan would be a total unknown.

There would be no more shark attacks. No earthquakes and no hurricanes or typhoons. Even really ugly, smelly guys would have dates with hot chicks on Saturday nights.

11:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I normally laugh mong and loud at the Dummies, and I am still am, but I have to agree we would not be in Iraq if Gore had become Prez, and that would have been a good thing. But the Dummies blaming Bush because they can't finish college are idiots. Theres tons of money out there for schooling, it's just not all handouts. I know the idea of leaving their keyboards scares most Dummies, but sometimes it has to happen if you want things to happen for you in life.

11:39 PM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

9/11 would undoubtedly have happened anyway, it had all the earmarks of having been in the planning and set-up for at least two years, like most terrorist ops of large magnitude. It takes a long time to move a lot of people and money around surreptitiously and get all the pieces in position.

Also gas would be at least $4 a gallon, the product of the "Kyoto Compliance Penalty Tax."

I'm not sure what a "high bread" car is but it sounds fattening.

12:09 AM  
Blogger ntk said...

If Al Gore was president, I would be able to use the Pell Grant and probably other educational incentives to become a teacher

Subjunctive mood - that should be If Al Gore were President. Brilliant teacher, he/she/it is qualified for a publik skool I suppose.

cold fusion electrical generation would be a reality

I see. I suppose this genius has confused "fusion" with "cold fusion".

the federal debt would be two thirds paid off

Yes, the geniuses who gave the US all these expensive welfare-state programs are, all of a sudden, OH SO CONCERNED about government debt. Yes, very believable. Incidentally I should add that the "$5.6 trillion in surpluses over the next decade" bollocks I remember hearing about in the late 1990s was, quite frankly, complete bollocks - that's $560b per annum on average, about 6% of GDP at the time, and assumed no recessions (which your Clinton NewEconomy(tm) was going right into, I might add, starting with the first quarter of negative growth in the quarter ended September 2000).

Yes, I am an economist in case anyone is wondering.

high-breads

Wassat? I'd smoke it. Let me get my rasta hat thing.

Social Security would be in a lock box safe from the pork stained hands of the Bushites.

These retards still don't understand what SS is. They even recycle Gore's "lockbox" trope. Do they know that the practice of unified accounting (i.e. no "lockbox", to simplify somewhat) that started this mess began under the Johnson administration?

10:08 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

If Al Gore were president, all the US soldiers and Iraqis killed in Bush's Iraq adventure would be alive today.
...
Just think of all the citizens of the world who would still be living.


And think of all the dead Iraqis that Saddam and his sons would've continued to fill mass graves with.

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey idiots, Al Gore was Vice President for 8 years, he didnt do shit then, and he would have been worse as president.

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Britt said...

...I would have moved to Canada. They have a conservative government.

JK. I would have not gone batshit crazy, even though I despise the loon.

President Gore= no 9/11 made me lol. Yes, the terrorists only attacked us because GWb was the President. Then again, its the old MIHOP/LIHOP thing.

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Buttface said...

You never know about the whole 9/11 thing. ;) Terrorists hailed the democrats' taking both houses.

11:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm nоt sure exactly why but thіs blog is loaԁing extremely slow
fοr me. Is anyone elsе haνing this problem οг is іt a
issue on my end? I'll cheсk bаck latеr аnԁ see
if the problеmstill еxіsts.

Мy ωeb-ѕite ... car insurance

10:24 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home