Wednesday, August 23, 2006

KOmmie Plan To Turn Democrats Into Untouchables



Remember all the Democrat talk just a few years ago about the need for a "civil discourse?" Well, you can throw that out the window. Now Democrats want to act like in-your-face tough guys as you can see in this Daily Kos KOmmie THREAD titled, "Democrats must take the gloves off." The tough guy KOmmie Klown who authored this piece of laughable false bravado is none other than KOmmie occams hatchet who came up with another comedic gem: KOmmies Claim Terror Alerts Are Just Republican Fear Mongering. So let us now remove the restraining straps from KOmmie occams hatchet and watch him rabidly rant in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to enjoy another full moon KOmmie edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, is in the [brackets]:



Democrats must take the gloves off




[Says KOmmie occams hatchet as he takes off his restraining straps.]




"You wanna know how you do it? Here's how:
They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone!
Now - do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?"




[A moment of Divine Revelation! KOmmie occams hatchet gets his inspiration from a fictional movie character in his effort to turn the Democrats into Untouchables. No one would want to touch them if they took his advice.]




Are Democrats ready to do that? Have Democrats "had enough" cowering, groveling, simpering, appeasing, pussyfooting, equivocating and generally eating the crap of Republican abuse for the past six years to finally do what needs to be done to change things?




[You look laughably cute when rabid foam drools out of the side of your mouth.]




The Republicans have been skirmishing Democrats for several years, nipping at our flanks, picking off supporters and candidates one by one with their "unfair" tactics, and then refusing to engage us in a battle over the substance of the issues, the way it's "supposed" to be done.




[Wake up, KOmmie occams hatchet. You seem to be having a nightmare involving a superimposing a martial fantasy on normal political campaigns.]




"Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!"




["Unclean! Unclean! Unclean!" That's what I want to yell when reading KOmmie occams hatchet.]




Shaddaaap. Get a grip. Get a spine. Start standing up for yourself. No, forget that - forget "standing up for yourself" - that's playing defense. We need to play offense. We need to turn every attack back on them. So - when you get attacked with a knife, pull out a freakin' Abrams tank and blow them away.




[How about if we just pull out a butterfly net for you to swing during your extended visit to Happy Farms?]




We have got so much more ammunition than Republicans have that it won't even be a fair fight - it'll be a massacre. All we have to do is pick up the right weapons, and keep blasting away. All we have to do is load our weapons with Examples Of Awful Governance, and we'll never run out of ammo.




[KOmmie occams hatchet apparently never gave up playing with his childhood toy soldiers in the sandbox.]




We don't even need to attack from the left, or the middle - or anywhere on the Political Spectrum. We just need to attack from Reality. Hell, there's ammunition lying on the ground, everywhere you look. And that ammunition is -The Truth.




[Speaking of Reality. Just continue playing soldier in the sandbox while Reality passes you by.]




If there's one thing the Republicans and their enablers are afraid of, it's The Truth. If there's one issue the Republicans don't want to have to run on, it's The Truth. "Demonizing" Republicans isn't even necessary - all we have to do is TELL THE TRUTH - the truth will show them for the demons they are. Tell the Truth - Republicans can't stand that. They will run from it like vampires from sunshine.




[Like the way you are now running from Reality?]




In politics, you're guilty until proven innocent. If we say, for instance - in a unified, uniform, unblinking way - that the Bush administration has been spying on political enemies, the Republicans have no good responses. Never mind that they will say, "Well, we don't do that." And we'll say, "Why are you spying on political enemies?" And they'll say, "We don't spy on political enemies." And we'll say, "We know you're spying on political enemies - just like Nixon," and they'll have nowhere to go. And so we repeat that meme, louder and more often: JUST LIKE NIXON. And again, they'll have nowhere to go with that - there's no good response that won't raise more questions and add more validity to the charge. There is no way they can defend against a relentless onslaught of that, unless they're willing to open up the NSA program (and every freaking other illegal COINTELPRO program that they're running) to scrutiny. Which they're not.




[There is absolutely NO NEED to spy on Democrats. We just need to allow you to rant openly and then Copy and Paste. Your own words are enough to sink the Democrats. Oh, and did I mention that it is all conveniently chronicled in the DUmmie FUnnies?]




And why aren't they? Simple: Because Republicans cannot withstand revelation of The Truth. This administration has buried, hidden, run from, destroyed and otherwise tried to deny The Truth since before it took office, and for good reason: When The Truth gets out about Republicans, They. Lose.




[Naw. We simply set the Diebold machines to "R".]




We need to make statements of fact that, in order to refute, would require the Bush administration and the Republicans to reveal The Truth. It's not our job to fact-check them - hell, the President doesn't have to - just to pound them into the consciousness of the American voting public. How do we do that? By acting as if they are true, and demanding that Republicans answer for them.




[Silly fact-checking. Why do we need to make sure our absurd accusations are actually TRUE?]




It's basically us saying - over and over again, about every single issue the Republicans are vulnerable on - "Have you stopped beating your wife? Have you stopped beating your wife? Have you stopped beating your wife?"



["Have you stopped beating your brain? Have you stopped beating your brain? Have you stopped beating your brain?"]




HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED BREAKING THE LAW?

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED ROBBING THE U.S. TAXPAYER?

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED SUPPORTING AN ILLEGAL, IDIOTIC WAR?




[HEY, KOMMIES - HAVE YOU STOPPED TAKING YOUR MEDS?]




And don't ask these as rhetorical questions - DEMAND an answer. Why? Because there is no good answer, and to see Republicans impaled on these questions, trying to squirm free, can only help show them for the criminals, thieves and murderers that they are.




[Stand by! Your rabies shot is almost ready.]




One of the recurring criticisms of John Kerry during the 2004 campaign was that he never met a polysyllabic word he didn't like. Too often, Democrats want to explain, when what we need to do is to sell. We don't need to launch into a full explanation about the charges we're making against Republicans - we just need to keep hammering on that nail until it's pounded home. The facts will bear us out. If we're challenged, we just keep repeating the charge, in a way that sticks - and I don't mean "sticks" like you make a case "stick" with a jury - because WE'RE NOT IN COURT HERE.




[We don't need no stinkin' rationality. We just need to blindly lash out in all directions!]




WE'RE NOT HAVING A DEBATE HERE.

WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING THE MERITS HERE.

SELLING OUR PRODUCT.

And that product is - say it with me -




[LUNACY! LUNACY! LUNACY!]




Republicans can't be trusted to do ANYTHING right.



[And, of course, no need to bother fact checking that assertion.]




We need simple, direct, messages, repeated over and over and over and over and over again by Democrats - all Democrats. The messages don't even have to fully explain the situation - we can sort the nuance out later; we don't want to get bogged down in long-winded explanations (John Kerry - remember?). Our purpose is simply to INTERRUPT the existing political "conversation." We need to put Republicans on the defensive. It's simple - when Republicans have to defend the indefensible, they lose.




[Yell the friggin' messages into the faces of the voters until they are sick of hearing us.]





All we have to do is tell the Truth. But we have to tell it in three words, maybe four. If it doesn't fit on a bumper sticker, it's too long.



[If it is any longer than a simple grunt, then the message is too complicated.]



The tactic that Democrats must unfailingly deploy whenever anyone ever tries to bring up a Republican talking point is derision and dismissal. The Republicans have strained Americans' credulity to the breaking point, and Democrats do not owe the courtesy of respect for Republicans' bullshit. Treat it appropriately: mock, deride, dismiss. Do NOT engage.




[The tactic that Democrats must unfailingly deploy whenever a Republican even tries to get a word in edgewise is to scream at them to SHUT THEIR LOUSY MOUTHS!!! You just SHUT UP!!!]




This isn't rocket science; it's the exact opposite. It's caveman logic. Don't get involved in trench warfare. We need quick, pointed strikes that speak to the visceral needs of every American. Forget nuance - go for the jugular; we can sort out the nuance later. Nuance is for pantywaists.




[Cavemen logic. FINALLY you've said something that actually makes sense. And now to hear from your fellow KOmmies...]



Fight dirty - it's patriotic.




[The new Democrat motto.]




Who Uses Fear as a Weapon? TERRORISTS AND REPUBLICANS




[One and the same in KOmmie "logic."]




Go, hatchet go! Rah rah ree, kick em in the knee!



[Fight dirty - it's patriotic.]




About f*cking time! No more timidness, no more being Mr or Mrs nice guy/gal! Kick them in the nuts when you have to!!




[That time actually came YEARS ago for you.]




Just a Few Days of a General Strike in this country would do wonders, IMHO. I wish it were possible to organize one, but I don't think it's in Americans' natures.




[Also it would mean having to pull your mouth away from the interior of your pizza carton.]




Could it be that Osama is still AWOL because the Bin Laden family and the Bush family have been close friends for decades? It'd be rather difficult to kill a close friend now, wouldn't it? Again, connect these closely placed dots, folks, and there's a very ugly and sinister picture that unfolds.




[A sinister picture of an overlarge KOmmie tinfoil hat unfolds.]



Can you say Special Prosecutor?




[Can you say Karl Rove Was Indicted Last May 12?]




Fighting dirty is sometimes the only way to victory. I remember well the 2000 presidential campaign, when Al Gore chose to take the "high road" and refrain from calling George W on his dismal record, his complete lack of qualifications for the office of POTUS, his lack of character, etc., etc. Well, we all know what happened. Fight dirty, I say, and after you've won help your vanquished adversary up of the ground, help him dust himself off, thank him for a well-fought and honorable campaign, and enlist him as your newest ally in the pursuit of the fulfillment of YOUR agenda. But first, fight the necessary fight to win.




[KOmmies riding into electoral battle, shouting their war chant: "FIGHT DIRTY!"]




The people who need nuance have already made up their minds. You're trying to influence IDIOTS, who need it SIMPLE.




[A KOmmie appeal for the idiot vote.]





Get that man to a padded room!! And don't forget the straitjacket.




[Leave KOmmie occams hatchet alone. He's on a roll!]




Yes, occam, YES!!! I am going to COMMIT this diary to FLASHCARDS, keep it in my back pocket and MEMORIZE it and USE it and ABUSE it MERCILESSLY and RELENTLESSLY AD NAUSEUM.




[Just don't recite from those flashcards in public or you might end up joining KOmmie occams hatchet at Happy Farms.]




Smear Them First




[YEAH! Get in that first smear!]




makes liberals seem desperate. If there are so many facts and truths about the Republican party...why resort to such tactics? And spying on political opponents to what end? Democrats shoot themselves in the foot so often, there's no need for the Republicans to risk spying. The claims are fairly outlandish and unless you have real proof, you come across like a left-wingnut who is so desperate to get into power that they would say anything to garner attention.




[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]


(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)



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8 Comments:

Blogger heldmyw said...

This must be the new "tantrum politics". Scream "I wanna cookie!" over and over and over until you either get a cookie or a real adult takes you out behind the woodshed and learns ya some manners!

Frankly, I'm shocked that occams notions aren't laughed off and derided by his peers. The pathetic, whiny, substance-less tactics (and I use the term VERY loosely), are beneath elementary school bullies.

Has the left really sunk so low?

9:11 AM  
Anonymous Gianni said...

Looks like he still isn't breathing huh?

11:08 AM  
Blogger ntk said...

Who Uses Fear as a Weapon? TERRORISTS AND REPUBLICANS

Hold on a second, I'm confused. I thought there was no terrorism and it was all just a myth that Saint Algore would have vanquished if he were President.

11:33 AM  
Anonymous Gianni said...

No, no, no... Haven't you been paying attention? There are terrorists... they are called Republicans... he just got confused.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

And if SCREAMING does nothing, we move on to "Plan B"... HOLDING OUR BREATH FOR 24 BUSINESS HOURS!!!

12:21 PM  
Blogger Matthew Nehrling said...

Just by the fact that his handle is 'Occams' tells me he is most likely a troll at DU causing trouble by 'creating a complex, multi facited conspiracy'..

Hell, might as well just change his handle to Foucault..

3:33 PM  
Blogger JorgXMcKie said...

I dunno, shouldn't his handle be 'Occam's Sponge'?

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Basilisk said...

Who's he trying to fool, anyway? We're the ones with the guns.

Ann Coulter wrote that our gays are manlier than their straights. These pansies are all the proof you need to confirm it.

12:36 AM  

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