Friday, October 27, 2006

Master Rove Instills Fear In The DUmmies

Karl Rove. The very name instills fear in the DUmmies. No matter how much they demean the intelligence of the President, DUmmies and their fellow DUmmiecrats absolutely FEAR Karl Rove. To them he is the MASTER MIND behind every plot, every incident that happens in the political sphere and beyond. They are absolutely certain that all news events are ultimately controlled by Rove. Therefore imagine how freaked out they are over Rove's recent interview on NPR about the upcoming election. You can get an idea of this DUmmie panic in this THREAD titled, "Rove on NPR: 'Real' polls he has access to - GOP wins all." So let us now watch the DUmmie bow down before the genius that is Master Rove in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, entering A Perfect Rovian Storm, is in the [brackets]:

Rove on NPR: "Real" polls he has access to - GOP wins all

[Approach Master Rove on you knees, DUmmies!]

Rove said that he was reviewing 68 polls a week, and that "unlike the general public, I'm allowed to see the polls on the individual races," as opposed to public polls reported in the media.

"You may be looking at four or five public polls a week that talk about attitudes nationally, but that do not impact the outcome," Rove said.

Rove claimed that the polls "add up to a Republican Senate and a Republican House."

"You may end up with a different math, but you're entitled to your math," Rove said. "I'm entitled to 'the' math."

[Tremble before the genius of the All-Knowing Rove!]

What polls? the Diebold Polling Service perhaps?

[Master Rove owns ALL your Diebold machines!]

The kind he reported to W in 2004 when exit polls said they were toast. The ones they are cooking right now. manufacturing reality works on more levels than one.

[Not to worry, DUmmies. Just let Master Rove cover your faces with the hankie dripping with chloroform so you can go to sleep peacefully, not to wake up until Nov. 8. It will be so much less painful for you that way.]

My thoughts exactly. The results have already been "programmed".

["Pre-programmed" is the preferred word.]

that guy really needs a good extradition to the Hague that would clear his fudgy little mind.

[The Hague seems to be the latest DUmmie buzzword as the judicial solution for whatever ails them.]

We will find out on November 8th that Karl Rove is a liar and pompous ass

[You better hope you wake up slowly from the effects of the chloroform on that day .]

He's just notifying us that the fix is in. We still have to vote!

[Why? Better if you just take a big whiff of Master Rove's chloroform now.]

Rove does not have access to some super secret polling technique that no one else has access too, and has no more insight into how voting will go than any reputable pollster.

[Lean back, tap your heels together three times, and repeat, "There is no Master like Master Rove" while the chloroform is being administered.]

It would behove every one to admit that Rove is a smart guy.

[Don't worry, my little DUmmies. You have Scream Dean on your side facing down the Mighty Rove. That thought should give you peace of mind as you take a big whiff of the chloroform.]

They're going down. The age of Rove is over.

[Said the DUmmie just as the effects of the chloroform knocked him out.]

Let's not get so sure of ourselves..... I was sure Gore won in 2000!! They are talking about power surges and messing with the Election right at this moment on my Noon TV News!

[Good News! Master Rove will be more than happy to administer the chloroform to you again when you wake up to the TV news on Nov. 8.]

I refuse to buy into the Rove bogeyman anymore. They're done.

[Asserted the DUmmie as the yellow waters cascaded down his pants.]

i hope they are not manipulating the public polls to fool us into letting down our guard?

[Hee! Hee!]

If he's mfgg plausibility for stolen elections, we NEED TO ACT
--to DEMAND that he tell us who's doing his polls, give examples of where and why they're more reliable, explain why they're secret. And we need to publicize the possibility that he's simply trying to create plausibility for manufactured election results. I'm rather shocked that even here at DU, so few folks seem aware of this possibility.

[It sounds like you need a double whiff of the Rovian chloroform.]

Their GOTV machine is legendary for good reason--they're on the phones and gassing upthe busses while we sit here typing on our little website.

[DUAC! DUAC! Maybe it help the Democrats if you removed the pizza box pile from your basement doorway.]

DO NOT GET COMPLACENT. We have NOT won ANYTHING yet. Eyes on the prize, guys.

[Eyes on Lucy's football, guys.]

White House political head honcho Karl Rove was interviewed by National Public Radio yesterday. He effectively announced plans to steal the coming elections. The polls point decisively to a Democratic majority in the House, and possibly in the Senate. Yet Rove told NPR he was certain of Republican majorities in both houses, and gave laughable reasons for his claim.

[Just as the effects of the chloroform kicks in, you will see bright flickering lights and hear the delightful sounds of bluebirds merrily singing.]

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Blogger Shandalear said...

I spoke with my mom a few days ago. She told me that nearly all her neighbors who are democrats have told her they don't plan to vote in the upcoming election. They said the are disgusted with the process and are staying home.

Thank you Master Rove!

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"by Clarkie1
The humiliated shrub may keep turd blossom at his side for another couple of years, but after that he will be permanently unemployed."

I can't help myself --
Aah grasshopper, I hold football, you kick? Yes?

8:02 PM  

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