Thursday, January 05, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-05-06 ("DUers are obsessed with the need for conspiracy?")

Bread and Butter, Bacon and Eggs, and DUmmies and Conspiracies. Yes, they all go together. I mean any visit to DUmmieland will show you that it is filled with the most bizarre conspiracy theories of all kinds. Absolutely NOTHING is too far out for the DUmmie imagination when you consider the BIG debate there is whether 9-11 was LIHOP (Bush Let It Happen On Purpose) or MIHOP (Bush Made It Happen On Purpose). Anybody there daring to suggest that it was the fault of Al-Qaeda are quickly tombstoned. Therefore it was interesting (and fun) to read this DUmmie poll question THREAD titled, "Poll question: DUers are obsessed with the need for conspiracy?" Of course, it would not surprise me a bit if the DUmmies come up with a conspiracy theory for this conspiracy question thread. See, it is being quickly featured by the DUmmie FUnnies so that must mean a Karl Rove agent planted this question in order to make the DUmmies look like complete fools thus furthering the rightwing agenda. As usual the DUmmie Conspiricist Theories are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, waiting for his Rovian payoff in a brown bag delivered by an agent of Richard Mellon Scaife, is in the [brackets]:

Poll question: DUers are obsessed with the need for conspiracy?

[DU you really even need to bother to ask, Mr. MIHOP?]

Not all of us but cmon people. The latest two:

[Just two?]

The tragic mistakes in West Virginia were actually an attempt by the Bush administration to disparage East Coast media outlets?

[Contradicting that assumption will lead to your tombstoning.]

The fact that some of the 9/11 Hijackers took a gambling cruise on Jack Abramoff's ill gotten boat is proof positive that Bush knew that the attacks were coming.

[But...but all the dots connect PERFECTLY. A couple of hijackers board a gambling cruise in which Abramoff is one of the owners and...and...IMPEACH BUSH NOW!!!]

I think some of us need a nap and maybe some special pills.

[aka Meds.]

In a Rovian world. There comes a time when conspiracies are no longer theories. I don't think we're conspiracy obsessed. Just truth obsessed. And the truth will be revealed.

[WHEW! Thanx for bringing the DUmmie discussion level back to its normal paranoia.]

You are familiar with KKKarl's history, aren't you?
I'm not saying I'm for or against those theories you listed, but KKKarl is so low, nothing is beneath him. He has to drill upwards to get to bedrock. Remember McCain's "black baby?" The "child molesting" judge? The 'bugging' of his own office? Please. He's slime.

[And the Tsunami which was perfectly timed to take attention away from the growing discontent with Bush. KKKarl was OBVIOUSLY involved.]

We all know Rove is a world-class bastard, but his actual bastardry is small-time. He's not Ming the freakin' Merciless, for chrisakes.

[Correct. He is actually Rove the Ruthless.]

If the man was a tithe as powerful, influential and effective as a lot of people seem to think, we wouldn't be having this conversation because we'd already be totally f*ked.

[Better check your rear entrance because you already are.]

This thread is a Rovian conspiracy to distract
from the Rovian conspiracy.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Karl Rove Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Clearly this thread is a Rovian conspiracy to highlight the false Rovian conspiracies, all the better to allow the true Rovian conspiracy, the one the false conspiracies only hint at, to flourish unnoticed.

[Actually the accusation of Rovian conspiracies is itself a Rovian conspiracy therefore you must be a Rovian agent.]

Half of the time the conspiracy theorists are probably far closer to the truth than the media.

[Including the Rovian conspiracy theories about Rovian conpiracies.]

I think the media are out of touch with people's lives, and so people start to look for something that explains their 'reality' better, because often the media don't do a good job of it.

[Your conspiracy theories can be found in the Alternate Reality.]

My point is that half of the time, what appears to be wild theory is probably far closer to the one and only True Reality than the official media's version.

[Except on Wednesdays when they revert to the Alternate Reality.]

It is all so mixed up. Because the first thing a sociopath in trouble (about to be found out) will do is try and inflict psychic trauma on the witness/victim to try make them look angry & deranged so they can be isolated and ignored.

[Angry & deranged? No effort is needed to make the DUmmies appear that way.]

Fact is - when nefarious liars on loose - in the WH or anywhere else - people who see them for what they are and are terrified - will wonder what is up. Will want a more veratic truth. And that pattern will follow them. Rove is a nefarious. People who don't put anything past him have likely been everywhere in his life. Now there are just more people. Because of the choices he makes. Because of his actions. Because he manipulates to get power for his puppet-man.

[You want the veratic truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE VERATIC TRUTH!!!]

And those 2 huge steel and concrete buildings suddenly collapsed at freefall speed after burning for about an hour...Plus the 47 story building a block away...But it was so intensly hot it melted steel!

[Obviously the Al-Qaeda terrorists could not have possibly destroyed the WTC so Bush dreamt up a conspiracy theory ridiculously pinning the blame on them.]

We may be crazy, but we're not stupid!

[Don't be modest. I give you credit for being stupid as well.]

1. Some of the alleged hijackers trained at Huffman Aviation, which was busted for 42 pounds of heroin

2. Abramoff's gambling boats would be a good cover for money laundering and drug smuggling

3. Sibel Edmonds and Indira Singh tell us that money laundering, drug smuggling, and terrorism are all connected

[4. This is a brainwashed mind on drugs.]

James Dobson and Jack Abhamoff met with the Cousin of Mohohammed Atta's next door neighbor's dentist from Memphis at a University of Colorado Football game 4 years ago. More proof that Rove engineered Diebold well known plan to Bomb the WTC in order to kill the secrtary of the Brother of the CEO of their competitor and thus insure that Bush could win a second term thus further insuring an attack on Iraq to deflect attention for the Enron-Haliburton-Diebold-Cheney plot to take over the world.

[Your Jesting Post will soon become Accepted Truth in DUmmieland.]

It's really f*cking annoying to watch a gaggle of paranoids bleat their fear & despair at every turn of the news cycle. You can't actually convince them otherwise, and they refuse to engage in positive action against their shadowy oppressors. Pity, really.

[Pity, really, that you are about to be tombstoned for making a rational remark.]

No one knows the extent of the regime's evil abilities - they certainly have a great distain for law. And knowing what we know about them, at this point, the fact that we have to wonder if its not some well-timed (they're all well-timed) plot is reason for disgust. But that should be directed toward those who brought us to this evil place, not those who wonder how far down hole we've fallen.

[Your reversion to conspiracy theories is sooooo soothing.]

What do you think of the report that some of the hijackers were on a Suncruz casino ship the week before the "hi-jackings". What do you think of the fact that Abramoff was a lobbyist for interests in Pakistan? Now I don't know that ** knew about the details of the planning and conspiring that took place between these and other elements within our military and intelligence communities. But he knew something, don't you think? Don't you find it curious the connections that were had by Atta and associates in Florida? And do you find it curious that it has been nothing but miner coverage all day on the news outlets.(not that it is not newsworthy). The "apparent" error in reporting has sure fueled the news day. Perhaps you haven't been as jaded as some. I for one, take NOTHING at face value. I also definately do not accept newspeak as fact. I always assume I am in the spin zone.

[I always assume you are in the Twilight Zone.]

People keep mentioning the connections between the hijackers and Suncruz/Florida/Abramoff. What connections?? They were there gambling. So were hundreds, probably thousands, of other people. What does that prove?

[It proves that you are too rational to remain in DUmmieland, my soon-to-be-tombstoned DUmmie.]

1. why did the mine corp wait 3 HOURS to tell the truth once they let the lie out?

a. to distract from their crimes by getting everyone to focus on their hate of the M$M?

b. did rove green light it to be able to beat on the M$M to distract from their own problems (look ma a 2fer)

2. SOP - why were we under attack for almost to friggin hours, for CHRISTS sake, and not a single jet fighter in our 400 BILLION dollar arsenal could intervene?

3. why did those buildings fall in their own FOOT-PRINTS?

4. we all know the chimp ain't gotta clue and didn't even REACT (another tell) after being informed that we were UNDER ATTACK by his chief of staff (card) but why in cheneys name didn't the SS whisk him out of harms way until AFTER the photo-op?

[The FUnniest thing about your post is that you are NOT trying to be FUnnie.]

Yes The country is actually being run by Gilligan From his secret Island lair. I know this because the SS Minnow has actually never been found. It my belief that it actually being hidden in the US Gold Bullion Depository in Fort Knox, Kentucky. And actually it's not a boat at all they found the craft outside Groom Lake, Mexico. Never mind the timeline difficulies. That is part of Rov's secret plan as well.

[Your DUmmie post actually makes more sense than the preceding one.]

If the right-wingers are as powerful as the conspiracy types claim, we should just surrender because clearly resistence is pointless.


I know Zuckerman, editor of Newsweek stopped his limousine and pull out his cell phone and kill all news coverage of a protest at an event in Manhattan he was attending in Nov 2000. All of the news crews were there and talking to the 400 protesters in wheel chairs or hooked up to IVs. Not one peep got published. So do not tell me it could not happen.

[I think this conspiracy theory Zucks.]

I have seen people who would believe anything.

[Including the wild conspiracy theory that Dennis Kuchinich's Press Secretary was secretly working for John Kerry.]


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