Wednesday, July 13, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 07-13-05 ("I'm having my nervous breakdown right now")

DUmmieland has been rather boring today. Why? Because almost every thread is about Karl Rove. They cover almost exactly the same material over and over again to the point of ennui. Of course, this whole Karl Rove “scandal” will be absolutely HILARIOUS once the DUmmies realize that NOTHING will happen to Rove for exactly the reason that he broke NO laws. However, until then, much of DUmmieland is doing nothing but rehashing the same stale material. Therefore I was about to give up all hope of finding any material for today’s PM DUFU edition when I remembered the new Mental Health Support Group forum in DUmmieland. I checked it out and, lo and behold, there is a WEALTH of FANTASIC material there. Let’s face it, merely to be a DUmmie you have to be a nutcase but to be a DUmmie AND post to their Mental Health Support Group forum means you have to be really far gone in the wacko department. Therefore I will be mining this forum more regularly in the future when the other DUmmie threads bore me as tonight. And in this edition of the DUFUs we have a VERY ENTERTAINING post by one of the FUnnier DUmmie comedians, TrogL, whom we featured last November when he had a complete mental meltdown following the election. Tonight TrogL again provides us with quality entertainment in his DUmmie THREAD titled, “I'm having my nervous breakdown right now (incoherent rant).” So take it away, TrogL, in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, admiring the TrogL comedy routine, is in the [brackets]:

I'm having my nervous breakdown right now (incoherent rant)

[Incoherent perhaps, TrogL, but also HIGHLY ENTERTAINING.]

Alternate titles:

# I hate this Universe. Can I go home now?
# It's either post here or kill myself
# I hate my life - wanna trade?

[Um… Sorry no trade, TrogL, but I have to admit I ENJOY the hell out of watching your miserable life.]

I apologize in advance for the typing. I wanna get this all down and maybe I"ll edit later.

[Just don’t edit out the Funnie stuff, TrogL.]

I've jsut kidn of readched the end of my tether. It's been a long weekend here and it's just one stupdity after another. For a summary, read some of my other threads, but here's a few examples.

No, I don't wanna play "why don't you ya but".

[You’re NOT making a bit of sense, TrogL, but I find your writing MUCH more interesting than that of Pied Piper Pitt.]

Somebody got into my garage and stole two of my kids bicycles - AGAIN. (partially my fault, I left the side door open)

[Calm down, TrogL. I promise I will return those bikes soon.]

My partner has adopted this down-and-out-of-luck person who I can't stand - the last time I had vibes like these about this person was the last time we got broken into. He's managed to get himself kicked out of the Y, where he was living, which I understand is just about impossible.
NOrmally my bipolar swings are three days up, three days down in sort of a sinewave pattern. I've been down for six days and counting. Today I guess I'm on a manic swing because I was up all night but it's hardly a normal swing. I'm still depressed, it's just like I want to start smashing things.

[Was this down-and-out-of-luck person who you can’t stand named Al Gore by any chance, TrogL?]

I bought something used and I can't get it to work. I also can't find parts for it.

[Those used nuclear reactors can be trouble to operate, TrogL, although you might check the junkyards for the needed parts.]

My son is wacko, won't reliably take his meds that stop him from being wacko and can't see (when he's wacko) that he's the one with an altered reality (yes, I've explained it over and over). He's on a manic swing from hell and nobody believes me that he's bipolar.

[Your son has an altered reality? A future DUmmie in the making.]

My partner's on a bazillion different meds (pain management etc) and spends a lot of his time passed out. Problem is, he doesn't understand how much he's sleeping and doesn't believe you when you wake him up and tell him he's been asleep. If you confront him with the evidence he gets all hostile. Just when I'm ready to get fed up, he suddenly goes wild and cleans up the house.

[HOLD ON!!! Your partner is a guy on meds and you have a wacko son? I guess I can conclude that your domestic life is NOT an “Ozzie and Harriet” situation.]

I don't think my meds are helping me. My obsessive/compulsiveness is completely out of control. I've picked my face raw. I've been pacing. I've buried myself in my books. My mood swings are way outside of normal. The only thing I'm NOT doing is screaming at people like I did when I was off my meds. I guess I feel better than then, I don't know. I can't tell. YOu can't tell from inside the situation.

[Sooooo… What makes you think your meds aren’t working, TrogL?]

I"m btroke. I'm always broke. Everybody in the household is constantly whining at me for money. Nobody can udnerstand taht there just isn't any. Occasionaly on a manic swing I'll actually give them a bit for a treat and then their on my case ove rand voer and over for the next week for more. I show them the 0 bank balance, I show them my empty awllet and 30 mintges later they're at it again.

[May I interest you in investing in gold, TrogL?]

NOthing makes any sense anymore. Nothign works anhymore. Everything's just all fscked up[ all the tim e and I'm tired of it.

[Congatulations, TrogL! You’ve just written the PERFECT epitaph for DUmmieland. And now let us hear your fellow DUmmies commiserate with you on your many woes…]

You have a choice, Trogl, call your therapist/shrink/doctor, or not. One can't handle this kind of chaos alone for long.

[DON’T encourage TrogL to seek help! Sanity could impede his terrific comedy writing.]

WHAT therapist/shirnk/doctor?
The only competent psychiatrist I've had I either had to move away from (work) or retired. The last shrink I had was a pill-pushing idiot who couldn't recognize obsessive/compulsive if it slapped him in the face and lost interest in me as soon as he found out I wasn't schizophrenic.

[Unfortunately for you, TrogL, the psychopaths are out of fashion. It is the schizos who are the IN thing nowadays.]

Call your GP if you have one, there must be some source for you there for some help.

[Methinks TrogL needs something much more heavy duty than a mere GP.]

This province doesn't have a lot of mental health support even though it's the richest province in Canada. What is there is a pay-as-you-go system and you end up with a glorified social worker. Full-blown shrinks are in very short supply and lot of them are downright incompetent.

[And all this time I thought Canada had this WONDERFUL health care system, TrogL. Thanx for setting us straight.]

do you have Emotions Anonymous where you are? It is a free support group for people with various mood disorders or mental illness. I found a group that was very helpful to me when I wasn't doing well with depression and my life was out of control

[Or perhaps Emoticons Anonymous.]

wish i was there to give you a hug

[I’m not so sure giving TrogL a hug is a good idea. It might set off his hand grenade.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great article! Thanks.

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for interesting article.

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent website. Good work. Very useful. I will bookmark!

9:56 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home