Friday, January 14, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 01-14-05 ("Tipper Gore Says Al Gore interested in a 2008 Run")

I was originally planning to do a DUFU about the DUmmies fantasizing about being minor league Billy Jacks and perhaps I will do it in the VERY NEAR future. However, I couldn’t resist doing a DUFU right away about this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Tipper Gore Says Al Gore interested in a 2008 Run,” which is based on a brief mention of this in the NY Post. Admit it, as soon as you read the words, “Al Gore,” a smile came to your lips. Perhaps you even let loose with a chuckle. Why? Because although many of us once found Al Gore to be a pompous annoyance he has now turned himself into a national laughingstock, due in large part to falling off the deep end. Wherever Al Gore goes, the image of him screaming like a maniac, “HE BETRAYED US!!!” will always follow him. Of course, the name Al Gore conjures up other hilarioius images as well: His loud sighing on a debate state while his face was covered with a strange orange rouge that made him look like a space alien. Stalking Bush on another debate stage. And, of course, there are the many HILARIOUS Darrell Hammond impressions of him. Therefore it is with much glee that I WELCOME another Al Gore run for the presidency. It is my great hope that he will supply much comedy material to the DUFUs in the future by re-entering the public view. The DUmmie support for Al Gore is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing an Algore ’08 button, is in the [brackets]:

Not a whole lot of info. Just a snippet of gossip from the NY Post - so take with a grain of salt.

[Dear God! Please let it be TRUE!!! And a lot of you out there are probably not aware of the fact that YOURS TRULY worked for a couple of years as Algore’s typist when he was writing his “Al Gore At The Movies” reviews.]

He'll win again and still not inhabit the White House

[Just like John Kerry.]

Al has been watching and listening. He's also been living in the real world. I have a feeling that he will be quite prepared for a plethora of eventualities. It has even been said that he has been known to stick his camel's nose under our tent, here at DU, on occasion.

[Hey Al! You are welcome to stick your camel’s nose under the DUmmie FUnnies tent.]

If you're watching and reading this, Al: Go for it! I'm still stinging from 2000, and this past election merely reopened those old wounds. You would have had my vote in '04, and I'd give it again in '08.

[If you’re watching and reading this, Al: Go for it! I’m still laughing from 2000. You still had my laughs in ’04, and I’d give you more laughs again in ’08.]

I will never forget the GREAT series of speeches he gave these last few years. I'll never forget the way he straight out stated what was wrong with what was going on in the bush administration. He criticized the war before anyone. I would be the first person to sign up and work for him.

[To almost everybody else, Al Gore’s speeches were the sign of laughable madness. To the DUmmies it is a sign of greatness because he sounds exactly like they do.]

I will never forget the GREAT series of speeches he gave these last few years. I'll never forget the way he straight out stated what was wrong with what was going on in the bush administration. He criticized the war before anyone. I would be the first person to sign up and work for him.


I'd vote for him Gore has become a much better speaker since 2000, he contested the election results when something was fishy, and he's been in the office before under Clinton.

[True. He is a much more entertaining speaker now. Before he just bored us with his sing-song pompousness. Nowadays he delivers the laughs with his mental asylum escapee rantings.]

Because he's found passion and is better able to speak from the heart.

[Losing one’s mind is very helpful as well.]

He can count on many of us to support him. But he needs to watch out for the RWing Smear Machine and the 'new' democratic snakes that will try to block him at every step

[Block him? And miss out on all those laughs? NO WAY!]

When the hell will we STOP choosing our candidates based on what the other side thinks?

[Don’t listen to us laughing at Algore. Nominate him. PLEASE!]

I'm not concerned about the other side. I just want a candidate that isn't damaged goods. I still cringe every now and then at Gore. That's a problem.


We have to win over the writers for Leno & Letterman. It seems that many Americans are influenced by them.

[Don’t worry. I’m sure those writers fully support Al Gore. Algore comedy practically writes itself.]

Gore, however, kept playing into their stereotype. The media chant of serial exaggerator was well established, and he kept reinforcing it. I remember watching the debates, when he said things like, "Well, I know a little something about...In fact, I even..." I wanted to throw shit at the TV.

[You weren’t alone in that reaction.]

I'm wearing a Gore 2000 shirt right now and i hope to be wearing a Gore 2008 shirt soon.

[Better get a larger size shirt to fit the new Algore on it.]

His whole life seems to me to be one long calculated attempt avenge his father's defeat and go to the White House.


The main reason that I support a Gore candidacy in 2008 is because it would facilitate bringing the United States back into the global community.

[Translation: Making the USA subservient to the United Nations and the laws of the World Court.]

It would heal the country. True contrition for theft requires not only sorrow for the act itself, but restitution of the thing stolen to the one from whom it was stolen.

[A reparations payment to Algore in the form of giving him the White House.]

If you honestly believe that a majority of voters will flock to the polls on election day in 2008 and vote for Al Gore as some act of contrition, you are very, very, very, very naive.


Okay, so why is the neocon-owned NYP pimping a Gore run?

[For the LAUGHS of course. For the LAUGHS!]

President Gore has my vote, my labor and my money

[Since Bev Harris is starting up an Algore ’08 fundraising drive, send your money to her.]

Gore/Dean in 2008!! That's a ticket I can enthusiastically support

[How about Gore/Heinz in 2008? Chris Heinz is rested, ready, and wants a career change from just being a wealthy paperweight.]


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