Thursday, November 25, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies Thanksgiving Edition ("No Thanksgiving This Year")

In this special Thanksgiving Edition of the DUmmie FUnnies we shall observe how the DUmmies celebrate, or rather NOT celebrate, Thanksgiving this year. As you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “No Thanksgiving This Year,” the DUmmies, with a few exceptions, are refraining from celebrating the holiday this year. As usual, the hungry comments of the DUmmies angrily glaring at the Thanksgiving tables they will not sit at are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, stuffing himself with turkey and all the trimmings, is in the [brackets]:

No Thanksgiving This Year…

[Speak for yourself, Dummie 5X.]

The celebration of the fall harvest and in some areas an almost religous giving of thanks does not quite seem appropriate this year. The harvest this year consists of war dead, civilians and soldiers, fascism and corporatism instead of democracy, and four more years of huge profits for friends of george. I won't be celebrating thanksgiving or any other holidays this year but instead will avoid any shopping except for necessities. I will be actively boycotting republican owned and supporting businesses. I will speak out when ever possible against the war and the theft of our democracy. This will be my gift to family and friends for this
holiday season.

[Since you won’t be eating any Thanksgiving dinners this year, DUmmie 5X, wouldn’t that mean you would need to downsize your name to 4X?]

We stopped celebrating any holidays religious or otherwise after the 2000 coup by the bushit crime family. This will continue as long as a single repuke lives!!!

[Welcome to an eternity of holiday boycotts!]

The Christian Reconstructionists applaud your decision. One of their minor issues (beneath the subjugation of women & the return of slavery) is the abolition of the Godless Popish/Pagan holidays. Which means nearly all of them.

[Hmm…. Methinks you are thinking of the Jehovah Witnesses but since those folks don’t vote nor participate in public affairs in any way, your angry thrust is a bit moot.]

I am thankful that my husband was able to find work within a week after being laid-off. I am thankful that I am able to attend college full-time. I am thankful for my family and for my health. I am thankful for my 4 cockatiels and my cat. I am thankful for having such generous friends who help us at the drop of a hat. I am thankful we can pay the bills and aren't drowning in debt anymore. I am thankful that I can finally afford to buy christmas presents for my family. I am thankful for my marriage and my husband. I am thankful for everything I have. Thank Goddess and God for giving these to me.

[Your reverent praise of the Twin Deities is quite touching.]

I don't see the point in celebrating two of the most over indulgent holidays of the year. While our troops are away from their families and malnutrition among Iraqi children has doubled since the war of aggression started, I really don't feel too festive.

[And yet if Kerry won you would now be stuffing your face with turkey and trimmings. See, Bush has done some good for you after all. It is because of him you won’t be suffering from the typical holiday weight gain.]

I can't give up the holidays. My Democratic family and I need some cheering up. However, I still plan to actively participate in demonstrations about the stolen vote. has a counter-inauguration planned.

[Your Counter-Inaugural Ball tickets are in the mail.]

Holidays have never really been important to us. They are just pagan rituals..

[Your Goddess will be VERY ANGRY with you.]

Postponing Thanksgiving Fest 'till there is a recount, the rightfully elected president sits at the oval office, fascism is ebbing and sanity has returned to our democracy, or until GWB and his goons are out of office!

[Psst! Come around to my back door and I’ll have a few slices of turkey available for you in the doggie bag.]

Honestly, I think the freepers would be just thrilled if they thought they had ruined even family holidays for us. Not gonna let that happen. I still have plenty to be thankful for. Pass the eggnog please.

[Hmmm…. Should I allow you to have a Thanksgiving? Okay, I won’t ruin it for you just this one time. Happy Thanksgiving, DUmmie!]


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