Wednesday, September 13, 2006

DUmmies And HUffies Mourn Imminent Demise Of Air America

The good news for Randi Rhodes is that Air America recently agreed to her exhorbitant contract demands. The bad news for Randi Rhodes is that contract appears to be WORTHLESS since Air America will be filing for bankruptcy this Friday. This announcement about Air America's bankruptcy was made earlier today on the leftwing THINK PROGRESS site. So, despite the widespread media acclaim which greeted its birth a couple of years ago, Air America is now slinking away into the night burdened by lousy ratings and less revenue. Of course, the DUmmies are already mourning the passing of Air America as you can see in this THREAD titled, "ThinkProgress: Air America To Declare Bankruptcy" and this THREAD with the wishful thinking title of "AAR's bankruptcy is NOT DOES NOT REFLECT LEFT WING RADIO FAILURE." The DUmmies are joined in their mourning by the HUffington Post HUffies as you can see HERE. So let us now watch the DUmmies and HUffies experience the specific Freudenschade called Frankenschade in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, reminding Randi Rhodes that her $300 per week WJNO radio gig in Palm Beach County broadcasting to constipated condo commandos is still available to her, is in the [brackets]:




ThinkProgress: Air America To Declare Bankruptcy




[Oooh! What a shock! Who would have thought that lousy ratings and almost no revenue could lead to a state of bankruptcy?]




Air America Radio will announce a major restructuring on Friday, which is expected to include a bankruptcy filing, three independent sources have told ThinkProgress.



[Was one of the sources an angry Randi Rhodes pissed off over the oodles of cash that she WON'T be getting from Err America?]



Air America could remain on the air under the deal, but significant personnel changes are already in the works. Sources say five Air America employees were laid off yesterday and were told there would be no severance without capital infusion or bankruptcy. Also, Air America has ended its relationship with host Jerry Springer.




[To be followed by Air America ending its relationship with the other hosts.]




Radio giant Clear Channel is so committed to progressive talk radio that, this week, it will announce a partnership with the Center for American Progress, Jones Radio, and MSS Inc., to conduct a nationwide search for the next Progressive Talk Radio Star.




[Benburch is your man. Check out the radio empire guy with the antenna sticking out of his buttocks.]




Shit!! Not good news.




[Is that you, Randi Rhodes?]




Reorganizational Bankruptcy Makes New Financing Possible




[Is that you, Pollyanna?]




If things don't get better... maybe they should ditch paying the high prices for on-air time over the regular radio airwaves and keep their internet and satellite programs going. It would be a real shame if they didn't make it and shut down completely.




[Maybe they could just upload their shows to YouTube like a million other people.]




Restructuring under bankruptcy does NOT mean it would automatically shut down. More than a few airlines have done that, and they're still flying.




[Still holding that ValueJet reservation?]




Most people out in radioland have been completely turned off by right wing talk radio or they are Koolaid drinkers. The public airwaves might not be the right place.




[How about tin cans with strings attached?]




damm.. The Rw'ers will have a hay day!!




[YEEEEHAAAW!!! Or should I say, YEEEEHAAAY!!!]




Seems to me they should can the idiot who dumped Mike, offer Mike a nice raise, and let MIKE deliever the news to the exec that did the firing, with just as much warning as the exec gave Mike.




[Yes. Give Mike Malloy a raise from funds that don't exist.]




I got a satellite radio just so I could listen to AAR.




[Enjoy the static you will be hearing on your satellite radio rig.]




That Truly Sucks... We on the Left Have Nothing
but a few radio talk show hosts and a couple tv personalities.



[Like Katie Couric, Brian Williams, Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Matt Lauer, Rosie O'Donnell, Norah O'Donnell, etc., etc..]



Randi is a little strong for my tastes, but I only hear her when I am running errands in the evening. And I wonder what will happen to Franken. He's gotta be the highest $$ talent that they have on the network. What are his ratings like??




[In the toilet like everybody else at Err America but at least Franken was smart enough to steal his money in advance.]




Maybe they should do an IPO....




[You could ski on the steep downward slope showing the graph of that IPO value.]




Hmm.. the rich neocons will buy up all the stock and close them down




[Naw! They're too smart to flush their money down that toilet. They just need to stand and watch Err America sink on its own.]




I refuse to believe that the right wing radio "shows" are really all that successful.. Most of their ads are shit..they are subsidized because their message is so impportant for them to have out there, so even if there are few ads of any consequence (who knows? maybe the companies that advertise with them are also right wingers..)




[Sorry to disillusion you but they are NOT subsidized. Companies are lined up to advertise on Rush Limbaugh. And when a company makes a show out of dropping their ads on Rush, their sales take a nosedive. Remember Snapple?]




What Air America tried to do was admirable, but they never had enough funding..




[Please, George Soros! Flush even more millions down the Err America toilet!]



Man, this sucks. Progressives can't get a break in Amerikkka today. All right-wing rhetoric all the time on cable and even the public airwaves, TV and radio. Newspapers aren't much better overall. At least we still have the Internet--for now. Hillary was right--it is a vast right-wing conspiracy.



[Yes, we conspired to give Err America incredibly boring talk hosts like Al Franken in order to sink that enterprise.]




Its the hosts fault AAR isn't working. I don't know what Al Franken is doing going around like some ambassador for liberals (with a big head to match) on the star trip.



[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]



Randi is just a flat-out, scatterbrained lunatic. She couldn't communicate a complete a thought if you held a gun to her head. I listen to her for about twenty minutes at a time and she manages to cover twenty different topics with random thoughts, sidebars, quips, shots etc. It becomes very un-entertaining very quickly. Now go bounce your boobies.




[Sorry but I've already handed out my quota of Kewpie Dolls for this DUFU edition. And now we move on to the other DUmmie thread on this topic...]




AAR's bankruptcy is NOT DOES NOT REFLECT LEFT WING RADIO FAILURE




[Correct. It is a reflection of their outstanding success.]




AAR started with a deep hole because of the Evan Cohen situation. Everyone should see 'Left of the Dial' to get a sense of the financial problems AAR had since its infancy.




[It's all Evan's fault. Lousy ratings and almost no ad revenue is not the cause of Err America's imminent bankruptcy.]




The right wing will quickly pounce on this story as proof that Left Wing Radio doesnt work.




[POUNCE!!!]




AAR's a strong brand name in the format, and I think it would be attractive to a prospective buyer.




["Hi! Would you like to buy a strong brand name with no ratings?]




How are its ratings? They have a station in my market (Philly) but I often can't pick it up. Are its ratings any good?



[They only get ratings when the station manager feels energetic enough to ride the pedal power generator to send out the signal.]




Evan Cohen is a republican... I think he purposley f*cked things up and put AAR in a hole, so republicans could say once and for all time..."See liberal radio doesn't work." (Which is about as dumb a statement a human being could make...But then, we're talking about republicans here).




[He was a secret Rovian agent. And now to join the HUffies on this Err America bankruptcy...]




Air America To Declare Bankruptcy This Week...




[Friday to be exact.]




Sad but this is why liberals have a disadvantage against conservatives. Libs are a diverse, independent and free thinking assortment of individuals while conservatives are loyal group-thinkers who are quick to support the dividers and deciders.




[I think even "My dog ate my homework" is a better excuse.]




This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end




[Appropriate funeral music by The Doors.]




Billions upon Billions of $$$$$ for the Military, but nothing for America's main squawk box.




[Huh! So now you want the government to unconstitutionally waste money on Err America?]




Listen up all you so-called conservatives! You corporate c*cksuckers have had your chance and you blew it. The shit is gonna change whether you like it or not despite however much you can steal from America.



[A voice from the "Civilized Discourse" section chimes in.]




The thing that Air America proved was that there IS a market for progressive radio. There are many progressive shows on radio now that have no connection to Air America. AA got the ball rolling. Whether or not AA lasts or what it becomes, it woke up radio, and turned the media around in the radio world.




[You mean like Blowhard Ed Schultz who got his seed money from the DNC?]




Al Franken, we love ya but your show is dry and slow.




[Great endorsement there from an Al Franken fan.]




I was giving up hope on AAR management, and then I heard they got Young Turks.




[Yeah. That last minute move is going to turn it all around for Err America.]



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6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, wasn't this announced just exactly 24 business hours before end of day Friday?!

Could this be the terrible vengence of "Mr. Larkover"??!!


BUWAHAHAHAHHH!! (Cough, snort...)
BUWAHAHAHAHHH!!

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting these comments. I'm tired of cleaning out the 'cookies' and having to unsubscribe to these sites everytime I try to get this stuff from the horses mouth... well not it's mouth. Your site is aptly named. Thanks for the laughs.

11:20 PM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

"AAR's bankruptcy is NOT DOES NOT REFLECT LEFT WING RADIO FAILURE."

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

*gasp* pause for breath *pant*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Thass pruy funny, Gringo!

11:47 PM  
Anonymous Skul said...

Hee-hee, I knew you could do it DUFU. Thanks. It sure took the dummies awhile to finally cough up. It almost seemed like they were trying to "starve it of oxygen". I wonder if the kos kommies have anything yet? Gonna go look.

11:07 AM  

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