DUmmie FUnnies 11-09-05 ("Why didn't Diebold steal yesterday's elections?")

THE GREAT SEA CHANGE HAS FINALLY HAPPENED!!! GLORY BE!!! The Democrats, who had the governorships of Virginia and New Jersey, retained those governorships in both states for a net gain of ZERO. Yes, the DUmmies are celebrating this victory as almost as significant as the Second Coming even though ALL the MoveOn.Org ballot initiatives LOST in Ohio. And yet with this pathetic jubilation, there is great confusion in DUmmieland as to why the Republicans didn't just flat out STEAL the VA and NJ elections via the Diebold machines as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Why didn't Diebold steal yesterday's elections?" As usual the befuddled DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to give the DUmmies a lesson in the art of politics, is in the [brackets]:

Why didn't Diebold steal yesterday's elections?

There's quite a few people who believe that Diebold has that power... Then what happened yesterday?

[You obviously don't play much poker, DUmmie. It's called Slow-Playing your hand. Stealing yesterday's election would only have given the DUmmies a heads up on the Perfect Rovian Plan for 2006 and 2008. By allowing the DUmmies a false sense of security, your guard will be down for the next two election cycles. Also, according to our Master, Karl Rove, allowing the Democrats to retain the governorships of NJ and VA, fits into the ultimate game plan. With Corzine as governor of NJ, the Democrats won't have near the moneybags buying the Senate election in 2006 when his seat is open for election again. And in VA, the whole Rovian tactic was to build up the presidential candidacy of Mark Warner who put his prestige on the line for Kaine. You see, a Warner run in the 2008 presidential primaries will help to weaken Hillary Clinton. Also the public will become even more turned off by Hillary when she unleashes her attack machine against Warner. Yes, it fits in with Rove's ingenious plan for Hillary to be nominated for president but only AFTER a bloody primary battle which Mark Warner would help provide.]

i want to believe they are running scared. one can hope!

[Hope all you want but this is just a matter of Karl Rove cleverly slow playing his hand.]

that level of risk is only acceptable @ national levels

[True. That level of risk is only acceptable when high stakes are involved. Again you need to understand poker and pot odds.]

I think that is the key reason the repukes keep us all so incredible divided. so much easier to tinker with 48-52 numbers than 60-40's which I figure is closer to the numbers in the vote yesterday.

[True. Some tinkering was done yesterday just to keep in shape but we allowed you the false sense of security of those two wins.]

Cheating only works when the race is close. When there is a blowout, or even a reasonably decisive win, they just can't move the numbers in a way to be plausible/

[Don't underestimate us. We can work Diebold Magic no matter the margin. Remember, Kerry was winning by a landslide according to the exit polls in Ohio when we defeated him via Diebold.]

NOT just nationally...Diebold absolutely stole all of Georgia in 2002!!!

[And that's a fact, Jack!!!]

Diebold doesn't do the stealing
they make theft possible with a keystroke. Elections officials have to do the stealing.

[To Dieboldly go where no man has gone before.]

Exactly - people at state level have to do
the stealing. Ohio STOLE - the polls showed 68% in Favor of Issue 2 and the results showed 60+% opposed.

[Hey, we had to test out the Diebold machines. There are maintenance requirements, you know.]

Bev Harris says the machines were "patched" about 8 times

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from patching your brain.]

Why didn't they steal these elections? Maybe they wanted to make it look right for this one so they could more easily steal 2006. But more likely is that it's just too hard to program the code to steal state elections because of all the different races they'd have to program to steal.

[Naw! Programing the Diebold code is a snap. We just wanted to give you a false sense of security.]

sucking us in for the next big one

[Truer words were never spoken from the Oval Office alcove circa 1998.]

they decided to let these local elections go and save the big guns for the important stuff...2006 and 2008?

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

If you notice, Dems won everywhere, but the Ohio reforms failed badly. The powers that be will preserve the impression of parity, but reserve the right to thumb the scale?

[Yup! That victory champaign will soon turn stale in your mouth.]

Dems won everywhere,
but what did they win? Not much, mostly maintained the status quo. You don't risk getting caught stealing small potatoes when there are large potatoes to be had next year.

[Is that you, Karl Rove?]

yeah, dems won. yeah, some puke proposals got voted down. But, a LOT of bad shit happened, especially in ohio and texas. I mean, whoopdedoo, liberals won in california! That's not a surprise. What's going to have long-term effects are the voting down of issues 2,3,4, and 5 in ohio, that keep it easy to steal elections, or the texas ban on gay marriage. We CANNOT let our guards down at ALL

[No! No! We want you to let your guard down and be happy, happy DUmmies...for now.]

They let the Dems win the small elections this time to avoid suspicion, and make it look like their machines aren't rigged. That and the fact that many existing voting machine haven't been replaced with Diebold machines yet. Here in NJ, where I've been voting on those old 1950's era lever machines for years, they're supposedly getting touch screens next year. Just in time for the '06 elections.

[The Diebold Cavalry to the rescue. ALL your ballots belong to US!]

Only if there are exit polls and paper ballots They rig the process and then ask you to prove that they hid evidence. The answer is pitchforks and torches.

[I predict you will be one angry, angry DUmmie on Election Day 2006.]

What I do believe is that Diebold has built in algorithms that can be triggered, given the proper opportunity.

[Those Diebold algorithms are triggered by the Red Queen.]

The margin that can be stolen/manipulated could not overcome the leads by Democratic candidates. I think the amount can't be more then 3-5% of votes that can be effected without alarms going off.

[You underestimate us. Filching off 10-15% is a piece of cake.]

It's only cheating when we lose! Just like my backyard whiffle ball game when I was a kid. If my team lost, of course it was because the other team cheated. If my team won, everything was on the up-and-up.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Even winning doesn't feel as good as it should because we just can not know for sure that the count is accurate.

[You won because we LET you win. It's all part of the Perfect Rovian Plan.]

As far as I'm concerned
they did steal our votes for Issues 2, 3, 4, and 5, Reform Ohio. I haven't heard a word from reform Ohio.

[Well, we had to steal those ballot issue votes in Ohio just to check to see if the Diebold vote skimmers were operating properly.]

Ohio Reforms were stolen --
Reform Ohio Now poll two days before the election showed 68% in FAVOR of issue 2 -- and the 'votes' showed 60+% opposed.

[We merely flipped the vote in Ohio. All NOs were registered as YESes and vice-versa.]