Friday, September 01, 2006

News Photo Of Rita Cosby Becomes Source Of Web Mirth

If there were a Pulitzer prize for the funniest news photo of the year, this picture captured by AP photographer, Jack Dempsey, would surely be the hands down winner. Here we have one obsessed weirdo stalking another obsessed weirdo. And in this case, the stalker is none other than the MSNBC Queen of Sensationalist Journalism, Rita Cosy, with her hand pressed up against the window as she stares at her prey, John Mark Karr, who is being transported back to the Boulder County Jail. This photograph has already become legendary and is now the source of great mirth throughout the web and into the outer reaches of the blogosphere. Whether from the left or the right, all are laughing at the vocally challenged Rita Cosby image that proves the old truth of a picture being worth a thousand words. So, let us enjoy the laughs provoked by this classic photo as we head into the Labor Day Weekend by scanning a few of the commentaries on this photo in both the FREE REPUBLIC, where it became the object of a caption contest, and on the HUFFINGTON POST where it inspired many a cutting comment. The postings of the Websters are all in Red In The Face From Laughing Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, laughing so hard he needs to borrow a throat lozenge from Rita, is in the [brackets]:

I want to have your baby! I love you!

[Captioned the vicious rightwing Freeper.]

Upon his release from jail, non-murdering pedophile John Karr visits the schluss-mouthed journalist exhibit at the Boulder Zoo.


Give me the name of that Thai sex-change doctor- I want to become a female too.

[Sorry, Rita. No discounts for Queens of Sensationalist Journalism although you could write it off as a business expense if the operation is done on the tube ala Katie Couric colonscopy.]

My sources tell me that I barely still have a job at MSNBC. Can you comment on that?

[No comment.]

Soylent Green is people!

[Can it be canned?]

Can I get a sample of your DNA?

[Only if you promise not to smoke afterwards, Rita.]

Is the Duke cab driver in there with you? He's not guilty either!

[The Duke cab driver is also frightened by your obsessive stare, Rita.]

You just thought Geraldo was a media whore. I am THE media whore, baby!!!!!!!!!

[You da man! I mean, woman! Uh, I mean...]

So, John, I was thinking that Jessica Simpson could play me in the movie - what do you think?

[Is Jessica compatible with Johnny Depp? And now on to Huffington Post HUffies who are also doubled over in laughter at the Crazed Rita pic...]

"Mark, Mark! Remember when you get the operation to CHANGE....tell the dr to do a better job on your vocal chords then they did with mine..ok"!!

[Or sue for malpractice.]

"Hey, can you guys give me a ride to the donut shop?"

[No. We are only going as far as the pizza shop.]

Her gravelly voice makes sense when you remember she's a bottom-feeder...

[So that explains why Rita's career has been floundering.]

Please stop licking the window, it's hard for us to see out.

[Rita should buy some transparent lipstick for cases like this.]

what a repellent whore. nauseating.

[Who? Rita or John Mark Karr?]

The most interesting part of this story is that it came out the same time that the Bush Administration was subpoenaed for wiretapping...interesting isn't it?

[Is that you, Mike Malloy?]

Rita Cosby looks really desperate in that picture. Funny, but it wouldn't surprise me if she is saying to Karr through the window "Hey John! Tell them we slept together! Tell them I conspired with you! Tell them I put you up to it! Just tell them anything to get my show back on the air! Please John! Wait, don't drive away! John! I need you!!!!"

[Rita is fantasizing about having her own talk show and introducing her first guest---"HEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNNEEEY!"]

The look on her swollen face reminds me of a dog peering through the window, watching a butcher cut steaks. She seems so delighted, so lucky to be given the opportunity to "glom onto" the momentary stardom of this mentally ill perv. If that expression on her face is not thrill, delight,or even ghoulish perversity.... Rita please consider a stronger prescription, or perhaps an outpatient councelling group, which may convince you to eventually inhabit a nice institution.

[You ever consider that maybe John Mark Karr had Rita's lithium prescription in his pocket and she wanted it back?]

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

"To Serve Mankind" -- IT'S A COOK BOOK!!!

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gravel-Throated Warbler smacks into glass. OUCH!

10:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Please come back...we are sorry we canned you...and we need the ratings boost.

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Think this blog doesn't get much traffic, Lefties? You can see a very robust discussion of it here:

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

John, join me, together we can save MSNBC and my career!

10:15 AM  

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