Monday, December 13, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-13-04 AM Edition ("What letter did Kerry send to 88 Ohio Electors?")

Today the Electoral College casts its votes to give the election to Bush and yet the DUmmies are LEAPING FOR JOY as you can see in this THREAD titled, “What letter did Kerry send to 88 Ohio Electors?” Since there are only 20 electors from Ohio (no state having anywhere near 88 electors) this is yet more reason why we call them “DUmmies.” Another example of blatant DUmmieism also occurred in the last edition of the DUmmie FUnnies when some DUmmie smugly quoted “Shakespeare” to show why they are so much more educated than Freepers. I put “Shakespeare” in quotes because it turned out that the DUmmie quote wasn’t Shakespeare at all. And in this thread we see DUmmies acting like DUmmies once again because they are placing their desperate hopes in overturning the election on some letter that Kerry sent to 88 Ohio COUNTY boards of elections (not electors) asking for inspections of the election machines. Of course, Kerry ONLY sent the letter out in order to placate the DUmmie diehards so he can claim he “challenged” the 2004 election when he attempts to run again in ’08. And, of course, many DUmmies are grasping at this Kerry letter straw to find new hope that the election WILL be overturned somehow. As usual, the desperate delusional DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the wild spectacle of the DUmmie Desperadoes, is in the [brackets]:

What letter did Kerry send to 88 Ohio Electors? I am listening to AAR. The hostess has just referred to a letter that Kerry sent today to 98 electors from Ohio. Does anyone know about this? It sounds like a very positive move.

[The letter said: “I congratulate the state of Ohio for having even more electors than California. In fact, I like your state so much that I am supersizing your order to 98 electors.”]

If he says "Go ahead and cast your votes as-is," then we're screwed.

[Actually you’re screwed even if Kerry doesn’t say it. Kerry could sing “Jingle Bells” and it STILL would have NO effect on today’s Electoral College vote.]

OMG! Did I just hear that right? Kerry. I think I may die.
Areas of inquiry? Numbers that could change the outcome? I may faint.

[OMG! OMG! OMG! I’m gonna FAINT! Kerry sends out a letter so that MUST mean that Bush WILL be defeated! OMG!]

dont faint. its real......kerry is coming on in......

[All together now---let’s sing. “Someday my Prince Will Come!”]

I've felt it all along. It's just so amazing that we're not nuts. Wow.

[And I have a friend who drinks a six pack of beer every morning at breakfast who claims he is NOT an alcoholic.]

Anytime JK is mentioned, it means news. Headlines. Attention. Why are you worried? First law of lawyering: Never ask a question you don't know the answer to.

[First law of Democrat politics: Always feed a line of meaningless BS to placate a bunch of gullible DUmmies.]

something in the air. one minute..I know it in my heart its like you predicted on line.

[Don’t forget to post that same statement on the morning of Jan. 20.]

OMG! I knew I was in love with this man for a reason!

[Isn’t Kerry just WUUUUNDERFUL the way he sends out a meaningless letter to placate you DUmmies so you won’t annoy him about “vote fraud” in his next presidential bid?]

Rumor has it, that the blue state electors (CA) will not cast their votes tomorrow because of the fraud in Ohio...

[WOO! HOO! That means Kerry will LOSE by even MORE electoral votes!]

But if ohio is overturned, and CA doesnt vote. Are we shooting ourselves in the foot?

[DUh! DUh! DUmmie!]

What if California waits to certify votes after Ohio is proven to be Kerry and then certifies them for Bush? Then were up shit creek with a stinky paddle. Can they do that?

[DUh! DUh! DUmmie! The Ohio electoral votes WERE certified for Bush last Monday.]

All part of the plan!!! GO KERRY, GO KERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Yes. It is all part of a WUUUUNDERFUL Kerry plan to let us think that Ohio went for Bush only to pull those electoral votes at the last minute AFTER the Electoral College casts its votes.]

Jackson and Kerry drafted a letter to be mailed Monday to 88 separate BOEs. Inquiring about possible misplaced votes in southern Ohio for Judge C. and provisional ballots and auditing of machines by non-partisan personnel.

[And for this the DUmmies are celebrating the impending Kerry victory? Oh wait. I forgot. It is all part of a WUUUUNDERFUL Kerry plan for victory.]

Deck the Halls with boughs of ballots, FA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAA!!!

[WHEEEEEEEEE! It’s all in the bag for Kerry!!! FA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAA!!!]

That Kerry was calling for investigations into distribution of voting machines. Jackson and Kerry together drafted a letter, (1)pointed to 92,000 ballots where no votes were counted for president; (2) Some outside independent verification of the optical scanners of paper ballots; (3) Provisional Ballots: The level of votes that were rejected were twice the amount as in 2000, another anomaly, to be investigated.

[KERRY SPEAKS! Whoooohoooooooooooooooooooo! I'm SCREAMING ALOUD HERE! YEAH BABY!

KERRY SPEAKS! Whoooohoooooooooooooooooooo! I'm SCREAMING ALOUD HERE! YEAH BABY!

[Whoooohoooooooooooooooooooo! You took the words right out of my mouth!]

Couldja just die? I'm soooooo happy. Stuck his head out of the foxhole. Complete in his battle plans.

[I’m jumpin’ for joy! It’s all part of Kerry’s WUUUUUNDERFUL plan!]

Patsy, the perfect storm has gathered. Wanna high five?

[YES! YES! OH YES! And you sure are a Patsy!]

On the high side, on the down low, around the back and under the leg. We all did this. We rock! JK rocks! Viva la Revolution! It might not be televised, but it sure as hell will be blogged.

[VIVA! Okay, let’s just relax now that the Kerry inauguration this January is INEVITABLE.]

OMG-Im sitting here with happy excited tears laughing my ass off.

[I’m pissing in my pants from joy!]



I hear ya, but at least Kerry is doing something. I was so worried that he wasn't and I had almost given up on him.

[Yes! Isn’t it WUUUUUNDERFUL the way Kerry tossed that meaningless crumb in our direction?]

I was right all along? Really? I'm not psychotic? I felt all along that things were going to plan. Just a nagging feeling all the time that everything was supposed to happen when it was supposed to happen, and not a moment before. I knew that the man that took down BCCI and Iran-Contra had a plan. Wow. I'm gonna go get a drink.

[No. You’re not psychotic. It really is part of Kerry’s WUUUUUNDERFUL last minute plan. Oh, and don’t forget to take a shot of lithium with that drink.]

I just called my sister aka debbie downer and told her to stop telling people in the family to talk to me about my obsession with the failed election. Boy was that call fun!!!!!!!!!

[And now that is proven without a doubt that Kerry won the election, your family will respectfully treat you as a wise prophet rather than a pathetic obsessed DUmmie living in a dream world.]

I Love It. Hell Kerry is suppose to be on vaction! WOW He is on Vacation all right LOL!

[I knew from the secret hand signals when adjusting hit tie that Kerry wasn’t really on vacation. He was in the process of implementing his WUUUUUUUNDERFUL plan.]

He'd better rest up - he's got a busy 4 years ahead!! Heck, eight maybe...

[YIPPPEEEE! And I guess now MTV WILL be having an inaugural party.]

It was said when they made that last stop in Iowa to thank his supporters that Teresea and him were going on vacation to Idaho (I think was the right place) for his Birthday. He was on vacation all right LOL! This man is smart as hell. A hell of alot smarter than people ever give him credit for. He knows what the hell he is doing LOL! That is why I have always trusted and had the upmost respect for this man. He is A true America hero!

[Yup! Incredibly smart. He let everybody think he was going on vacation when, behind the scenes, he was secretly putting into motion his WUUUUUUNDERFUL plan!]

this is giving me a lot of hope! I hope I hope I hope. maybe I'll pray again for the third time this month... maybe maybe

[Pray! Pray! Pray! Hope! Hope! Hope! Maybe! Maybe! Maybe!]

and a Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee from Alabama! Please, oh please!!

[Please! Please! Please!]

Is there someone who can explain, coherently, what is going on? All I see is a bunch of yippee, hoo hah and not much else.

[Don’t you see! The election is OVER because Kerry sent out a letter just before the Electoral College casts its votes for Bush! Kerry has won! YIPPEE! HOO! HAH!]

They can't win if we do a Ukraine here...I don't care WHAT the Constitution says on Electors....the People rule!

[Stupid Constitution! The Electoral College vote today is MEANINGLESS!]

IF credible evidence is brought up contesting the election...I'm taking to the streets... Give me the ammo, Kerry and Dems...and we'll go out to the streets and not return until we have a Ukraine HERE in America!

[You can join that massive protest of 400 people who showed up in Columbus last week.]

No, no ... don't do this to me ... don't get my hopes up ...I swear I'm going to have a breakdown before this is all over.

[Relax. It’s all OVER. Kerry has WON because of his WUUUUNDERFUL plan.]

It Is Pretty Damn Exciting!! My husband and daughter said I'm going crazy LOL!

[And I give your husband and daughter credit for perceptiveness.]

HOPE IS ON THE WAY!!! After the crash of Black Tuesday II, I'm so wary of getting my hopes up but I can't help it.

[HOPE IS ON THE WAY!!! And it is in the form of the placate crumb of a letter that Kerry tossed your way.]

I am so totally psyched. We have always know this day would come. It just feels so great to finally be here.

[Oooooooh! I am totally psyched too! And what will you be wearing to the Kerry’s Inaugural Ball? Will you be bleaching your hair for the occasion or will be leaving it the usual purple?]

It's like in the movies. I feel like Rocky...beaten...but getting up to win the fight!!!!


OMG!! I am literally wiping tears of joy and hope away!!! I pray this is true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Oh, it is! JOY TO THE WORLD! Thank God for John Kerry and his placate crumb tossed in our direction!!! It was all part of his WUUUUUNDERFUL plan!]

OMG! I get off DU for a few hours to go bake some Christmas cookies, and all hell breaks loose! I am SO hoping that this pans out!

[Oh don’t be silly! Of course it will pan out! It is all part of Kerry’s WUUUUUNDERFUL plan. The crumb he tossed us in the form of a meaningless letter WILL SAVE THE DAY!!!]

I've been skeptical of this whole voter fraud story, but this is making me a believer.

[Believe! BEEEEELEEEEEEEVE!!! Against all evidence to the contrary you must BEEEEELEEEEEVE!!!]

Rovian psyops commencing. Be vigilant!

[I’m vigilant all right. I am keeping out a sharp eye for those Rovian psyops folks who will be claiming that the Electoral College vote today somehow means something.]

I don't know about you guys...but I'm getting my martial arts weapons ready...don't own a gun...but, I'm preparing for this coming week..

[Maybe you could wipe out a whole town of redneck rightwingers with your left toe like Billy Jack did.]

hey that reminds me shouldn't we be alerting the media and Keith O about this!

[And don’t forget to alert your Shrink.]

Why hasn't this appeared anywhere else? It should be so big! I am getting worried that we might be being duped.

[DUmmies being duped? Perish the thought!]

It looks like tomorrow (oops, guess I should say today) is gonna be a good one. It's like that moment when you are looking at the jigsaw pieces and start to see where they all fit. I have a feeling a lot of people will be having "aha" moments today.

[It will be interesting to see you at noon on Jan. 20 when the jigsaw pieces of your scattered brain temporarily come together to inform you on just WHO is being inaugurated. It will be your “aha” moment.]

Nothing on J.Kerry's web site and no link to any news of this on Air Americas Web site.. If Kerry is going to jump in he should be at Rep Conyers thing today!!!! Dont get our hopes up to be dashed again.... find something concrete like a copy of the memo

[Thus concludes this DUmmie thread (so far) as cold harsh reality splashes the DUmmies in their delusional faces. Again the Acme Co. package explodes in the DUmmie Coyote's face. BEEP! BEEP!]


Blogger Icarus said...

Oh, God. Oh, my sides ..... the pain, the side-splitting pain.

Seriously, PJ -- you should put warnings on this stuff. I'm laughing so hard Diet Mountain Dew shot out my nose, which is really painful.

Are these DUmmies seriously this stupid? That thread was so mindnumbingly retarded that I'm tempted to go to DU to see if it really exists. You HAVE to be making this stuff up, right?

They couldn't possibly be so clueless, could they? And if they are - do they REALLY not know how funny it is?

Bravo yet again!

11:25 AM  

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