Monday, November 05, 2012

The Thumb That Saved Florida!

Last time we heard how Mayor Gloomberg's COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED endorsement is going to tip the balance and deliver the Northeast for President Obama. But what about the swing states? What about Redneck Nation, Pickup Truck America? Will THEY come through for Our President? Well, don't worry, progs! All those states are IN THE BAG for Obama, thanks to this secret weapon: The Thumb That Saved Florida.

The KOmmies are excited about The Thumb That Saved Florida, as we see in this THREAD, "White Woman in Pickup Truck Gave Obama Supporters Clandestine Thumbs Up Her Husband Couldn't See."

So now let us see the KOmmies get their hopes up from a thumbs-up, in White-Woman, Blue-Thumb, Red-Neck Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, looking forward to a landslide of Comedy Gold over the next 24 business hours, is in the [brackets]:

White Woman in Pickup Truck. . . .

[Oh, oh. White woman, pickup truck. Sounds bad. Although . . . she is a woman, so there may be hope. . . .]

White Woman in Pickup Truck Gave Obama Supporters Clandestine Thumbs Up. . . .

[WHOA! A clandestine thumbs UP! I was expecting a Klandestine thumbs DOWN!]

White Woman in Pickup Truck Gave Obama Supporters Clandestine Thumbs Up Her Husband Couldn't See

[Ha! I knew there had to be an evil white man in there somewhere! White men! Boo! Hiss!]

[KOmmie Kwik, who is probably a self-loathing, guilted-down white man himself, now tells us about what he saw . . .]

Yesterday my wife and I were among about 20 supporters of President Obama. . . .

[There were that many?]

standing on a street corner in Merritt Island, Fla. waving signs and rallying people to vote for the President. As expected, we got a lot of honks and thumbs up from a diverse group of motorists. . . .

[Celebrate diversity.]

not to mention a few middle fingers, thumbs down and shouts filled with expletives.

["A few" = Most everybody.]

But all in all, it was a very pleasant experience.

[I suppose when you're all weeded up, everything is a pleasant experience.]

Gotta admit I was pleasantly surprised by the number of whites who showed their support as they drove by...especially older white folks.

[Your typical white persons are inherently evil and racist, so this was a pleasant surprise.]

And I'm happy to report that we got far more honks of support and thumbs up than the Romney supporters working the corner right across the street.

[Honkies for Obama!]

This even in a heavily red area like Brevard County.

[No County for Old White Moonbats.]

But what made our day was when an older white couple drove by in a raggedy pickup truck.

[Raggedy Gramps and Grandma.]

I'm assuming they were husband and wife, and the husband was driving.

[Wait a second. . . . Florida. Pickup truck. Looks like a man driving. . . . That was no husband, that was Janet Reno!]

As they went by the wife was holding her arm out of the window giving us a thumbs up with her hand held down low so her husband couldn't see it.

[Did she look like THIS woman?]


She was sending us this signal I think: "I'm voting for Obama, but if my husband knew all hell would break loose."

[Thumbeloonie saves the day! Thumbeloonie saves America!!]

Makes you wonder how many women across America are secretly supporting PBO and other Democrats. I suspect there are millions.

[At least! Tomorrow: The Million Thumbeloonie March to the Polls! Our President is saved!!!]

[The Kommies respond . . .]

Really? isn't it a tiny little bit comical that we're counting white women thumbs in Florida?

[No, it's a sure sign, a predictor as reliable as exit polls for Kerry. They call it the Rule of Thumb.]

I live in a Conservative area of PA, go to a Conservative Church, and have many conservative friends.

[Meaning, I am an atheist lib living in Massachussetts, just totally making the following bouncy up.]

I cannot even count how many of my ultra-Conservative friends' wives have told me on the down-low that they are voting for President Obama followed by "don't tell my husband!" - definitely more than a dozen, probably well more than that.

[So you, a KOmmie, claim to go to a conservative church (why?) and have many conservative friends (how?), and you say you  know DOZENS of white, church-going women, married to ultra-conservative husbands, and they all confide in you that they are secretly voting for Obama??? Why do I find this hard to believe?]

So, anecdotally, I am seeing a lot of Conservative, pro-life women change to President O on the ground.

[So, panic totally, you are making this stuff up.]

being a Realtor I get this alot. .  . . just when the hub turns his back the wife goes thumbs down for Mitt. . . .

I predict, Karma is in, Pres is back for 4 more years!

[Clandestine thumbs, KOmmie Karma--wrap it up, this thing is over! WHEEEEE!!!!]

Nate has it right. . . .

[The Man with the Silver Thumb.]

Yep, it's the inverse Bradly effect. Married women don't want to listen to the old man going Limbaugh.

[Women Behaving Bradly.]

Man... talk about a nationwide support group to start: My S.O. is a Wingnut Anonymous. . . .

[Take my So-ignorant Other. . . . Please!]

Over time, they can come out of the closet and declare themselves NOT loony.

[We're not loony, we're THUMBELOONIE!]

Romney . . . Hell, his wife doesn't even believe his crap.

[Ann Romney, clandestine Obama supporter. Somebody check her thumb.]

none of my 3 wives have ever believed my crap.

[Is that you, Mitt?]

My parents live in northern Virginia. My dad keeps Fox on all day. He's an angry, old white man, and a racist. . . .

[Is there any other kind?]

My mom secretly voted for Obama in 2008 and will again. She keeps it a secret. . . . But she told me her vote.

[Maybe she's lying to YOU.]

The Magic Oval. . . . In private they will fill in the magic oval beside Obama's name.

[Women voting with their magic ovalations.]

Quit stereotyping pickup owners. There's an Obama bumper sticker on my pickup!

[Obama Ram a Dem Donk!]

Pete Seeger drives a pickup truck. An electric retrofit, powered by solar panels.

["Where has all the power gone. . . ?" BTW, Pete Seeger is an old white man. Must be a clandestine rethuglican.]

I'm Proud to be an Ol' White Man with a Big Red White and Blue OBAMA Bumper Sticker on my Jeep!

[Right next to the "Made in China" sticker.]

I want a bumper sticker, "Old White Guys for Obama"

[Now standard on all Government Motors cars.]

I had some made. "Angry old white man for Obama!"

[Joe Biden checks in.]

An older white guy was on the corner with me, rallying for the President yesterday. . . . His name is Woody.

[No, Pete, that was not Woody. Woody was not there. I think your mind is playing tricks on you again. Have you been taking your meds?]

[Now we go back to the OP, KOmmie Kwik, to put a bow on this thing . . .]

I know I kinda stereotyped. . . . But 90% of pickups I see with bumper stickers on them are for Romney and are almost always accompanied by another hateful anti-Obama bumper sticker or two.

[So, KOmmie Kwik, bottom line, what you're saying is this: 90% of the people you saw there in Florida are voting for Romney, and they would four-wheel over broken glass to vote against Obama. Yet you saw one, ONE (1), white woman's thumb out a window, and you extrapolate from that that Obama is going to win Florida and thus the election. Say, you're not working for Nate Silver, are you?]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Makes you wonder how many women across America are secretly supporting PBO and other Democrats. I suspect there are millions."

Ah, so your sample of one extrapolates to millions. Must be working for PPP.

2:07 PM  
Blogger tsiya said...

She was flicking a booger at them!

2:25 PM  
Anonymous Liptonius said...

Nothing like a fantasy anecdote to really form a solid foundation for a rational examination of the country's feelings toward the Presidential candidates.

Kind of like licking hubcaps and comparing the taste to decide which car is the better deal.

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Such a sad picture at the top of this column, an extended household where apparently only the oldest male is actually employed and paying taxes...

Tsk, tsk.


4:30 PM  

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