Thursday, May 10, 2012

"Cherokee Checkbox": The Faux Squaw, the Democrats' Warren Woman

Elizabeth Warren, the Democrat candidate for Senate in Massachusetts, is the darling of DUmmieland. The men think she's a MILHFW (Mother I'd Like to Have a Frappucino With). The women want to have her baby. In DUmmieland, she is Queen Elizabeth.

Recently, though, in the real world, some disturbing facts have come out about Elizabeth Warren. Turns out Liz listed herself as a "Native American" in her bio as a professor. Checking the "Native American" box gave her "minority status," don't ya know. And Lizzie would talk about her grandfather who had "high cheekbones," which apparently is proof of Indian blood.

Well, it's possible Elizabeth Warren MAY, at most, be 1/32 Cherokee from some great-great-somebody way back when. But even that is in doubt now. It's just come out recently that she had an ancestor who was among the soldiers that ROUNDED UP the Cherokees to take them on the "Trail of Tears." Oopsie! Guess the family lore got mixed up a little bit.

Are the DUmmies mad that Lizzie Warren deceived them? Nope. The DUmmies are mad at Rethug Sen. Scott Brown, who pointed out the problems with Warren's bogus bio. The DUmmies are putting on their warpaint. Smoke signals are rising from their bonfires. Witness this THREAD, "Elizabeth Warren getting grief for listing herself as Native American before getting hired @ Harvard."

But before we get to the DUmmies, I want to offer up this musical tribute to Elizabeth Warren. Click the music link and sing along!

Tune: Indian Reservation (The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation Indian)

She took some small Cherokee ration
Put this on her information
"Native A," although it's slight
She checked the box even though she's white

Took a while till it was known
That Liz is Anglo to the bone
And all the claims she made before
Aren't Lizzie Warren's anymore

Cherokee Checkbox, Cherokee Pride
So proud you hold your cheekbones high

She took the whole Indian fable
Used it for her PC label
Though she's blond with eyes of blue
She's still a redskin through and through

Cherokee Checkbox, Cherokee Pride
So proud you hold your cheekbones high

But maybe someday when she's beat
Cherokee Checkbox will retreat
Will retreat
Will retreat
Will retreat
Will retreat

Yes, Elizabeth Warren--aka Princess Summelfall Feranything . . . Spreading Bull . . . Dances With Moonbats . . . the Faux Squaw . . . the Democrats' Warren Woman.

Lizzie Warren took an "x"
And filled some boxes with her checks
And when she came to "Cherokee"
She checked her cheekbones, said "That's me!"

So let us now embark on the "Trail of Laffs" and see what the DUmmies are saying, in What-Makes-the-Red-Man Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, wondering if Will the Shill Pitt will be able to get a job working for Warren--Nope! Remember, this Saturday, May 12, will be the sixth anniversary of Fitzmas--is in the [brackets]:

Elizabeth Warren getting grief for listing herself as Native American before getting hired @ Harvard

[Why? Whatever for? Isn't it obvious that she's a Cherokee? I mean, other than the blond hair and blue eyes.]

Warren explains minority listing, talks of grandfather's "high cheekbones"

[Ah, the cheekbones! Of course! A surefire giveaway.]

Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren on Wednesday sought to explain her controversial decision to list herself as a Native American in a directory of law professors for nearly a decade before getting a job at Harvard Law School and said she is absolutely qualified for her job.

[Celebrate diversity!]

"I listed myself directory in the hopes that might mean that I would be invited to a luncheon a group something with people who are like I am."

[Would that be the luncheon for People Who Fudge on Their Résumés?]

[The DUmmies chime in . . .]

1/32 Cherokee isn't enough to say u are part Native American???

[Shocking that anyone would question that, right? Even though, I suppose, the person would be, technically, I guess, sort of 31/32 NOT Native American.]

Warren hails from Oklahoma, formerly Indian Territory.

[Well, that settles it! That, and Grandpa Cheekbones.]

My mother was 1/32 Cherokee. . . . I believe that I no longer qualify. Though I still tan red instead of brown, can't grow chest hair, and my facial hair is sparse.

[Look, Nadin, just because you can't grow chest hair and your facial hair is sparse, look on the bright side: You save on shaving cream.]

Osiyo, Dinadanvtli!


I'm part Chocktaw . . .

[And full Moonbat.]

She is Native American.

[You are Naive American.]

Self identifying as a minority for 11 years is a bit disturbing, especially when benefits can be attained by that claim.




Claiming benefits to which you are entitled is "disturbing"?

[Yeah! If I want to self-identify as a Native African-American Wise-Latina Lesbian Trapped in a Man's Body, who are you to question me?]

If you have Indian blood then you are an Indian.

[Wisdom from the Hopi Elders.]

do people really give a sh*t about this ?

[Let's find out . . .]

cool... I didn't know she had native american in her

[Apparently some people DO give a sh*t. It's the White Guilt thing, you know. Anything not white is cool. Even if it's 1/32. So Elizabeth Warren, the Faux Squaw, is officially cool.]


Anonymous Elrond HUbbard said...

"My mother was 1/32 Cherokee...I believe that I no longer qualify..."

There you go: 1/32 Indian blood = full blooded Cherokee, but 1/64 Cherokee blood = wimpy white man. These DUmmies are able to parse racial distictions finer than the Jim Crow era Mississippi legislature

BTW, ever notice that white people claiming Indian ancestry always claim they're descended from the cool tribes: Cherokee, Apache, Shawnee.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Granny Warren is a typical Moonbat. And as such no matter what she does, she's likely to get 35-45 percent of the vote because Taxachusetts is OVERRUN by Moonbats who don't give a damn about anything beyond the end of their nose.

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If she can't find her ancestor on the Dawes Roll, and can't get a Certificate of Degree of Indian Blood, she ain't Indian no matter how high her grandfather's cheekbones were, or how many stories her family told about their indian ancestor.
And, as an aside to the Dumbass above, it's "Choctaw" not Chocktaw.

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparently that supposed marriage record may not exist after all, and the same woman was listed as White in other contemporary records. Also, it seems her hubby was in the Tennessee Militia, charged with rounding up the Cherokee for the death march to Oklahoma. Lizzie Warren is an oppressor!

This just keeps getting better and better...


10:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If you have Indian blood then yo are an Indian."
If your ancestor is not on the Dawes Roll, and you don't have a CDIB, then you aren't an Indian. You can wear a feather headdress, you can carry a bow and arrow and a tomahawk, you can wear paint on your face, you can tan to a golden bronze, and have a genetic disposition to scalp your enemies and count coup on them, but unless you have the CDIB, you ain't an Indian. Period. End of discussion.

9:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't have a CDIB..., but I do have a FUCKYOU.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

American Indians are the only "race" that need government permission to exist. Think about that the government tells you what you are.

6:05 PM  

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