Thursday, June 23, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-23-05 ("Al Gore is still president")

I have always stated that the DUmmies believe in an Alternate Reality and this THREAD titled, “Al Gore is still president,” only confirms this. Yes, the REAL reality of Bush being President with a Republican senate and congress is just too much for the DUmmies to bear so they have to set up their own Leftwing reality in the alternate universe. So let us take a psychedelic trip thru the space-time continuum to the alternate DUmmie reality where there is a President Gore and liberalism reigns supreme. As usual the DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, encountering a plethora of Black Monoliths in orbit around Jupiter, is in the [brackets]:

Al Gore is still president.

[And Michael Dukakis is still ex-president. Continue with your entertaining delusion, DUmmie Fescue4u…]

According to Quantum physics, every possiblity actually occurs in a different dimension. For example, if you come to a fork in the road and you go right, in another quantum reality another version of you goes left.

[In your quantum reality, VERY FAR left.]

So, if the theory holds. In another quantum reality, there is a nation full of Happy free people who have just reelected Al Gore to another 4 years.

[The other Quantum Reality BETRAYED US!!!]

9/11 didnt happen. No Iraq war. No Abu Gharib. Bush is still a 2 bit govenor down in Texas.

[Yeah. 9/11 didn’t happen because the terrorists were too scared of the economic sanctions that Gore would have placed on Afghanistan in retaliation.]

Or if you prefer, in another quantum reality, Kerry is getting settled into his office after roundly defeating Bush.

[I BEEEELEEEEVE that Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20 in the alternate quantum reality!]

Bush has been indicted on war crimes and proof of election fraud has been uncovered. Jobs on the increase, the stock market is rising and the troops are all coming home this weekend.

[Kerry has finally SENT in his signed Form 180…]

DAMN. I am sure am jealous of those folks in these other Quantum realitys

[Oh, I’m sure one of your many meds can help you enter the other Quantum reality. But let us now her from your fellow alternate reality DUmmies…]

Well I wish I were there instead of here then

[Isn’t that the purpose of LSD?]

I think about that all the time. What it would be like if it was Al Gore as my president now. This past November I would've proudly voted for his second term and he would be there.

[Did you attend Al Gore’s inauguration in the Jan. 20 of the Alternate Reality? It was a formal event. Coat and tie and tinfoil hat required.]

Given the number of choices/probabilities I don't really support the many worlds theory. Simply b/c of Newton's laws of conservation of energy. From where do these realities come from ? Do they exist concurrently ? If so, what separates us ? An different vibrational frequency ? Perhaps an energy signature that keys us into THIS reality.

[Perhaps you should consult Dr. Emmett Brown on how to enter an Alternate Reality in a DeLorean car.]

One could easily argue that 'observation', 'mind', and 'perception' are the only actors in the determination of reality... in which case each 'quantum' universe would become dependent upon a particular observer or combination of observations. Then one must ask 'what entities are capable of observation?'. Trees? Humans? Rocks? Paris Hilton?

[Andy Stephenson?]

Interesting... so Dennis Kucinich is president in one of these worlds. Kick ass!!!

[It’s the Evil Elf Alternate Reality.]

In one of mine Al Gore is my president and Howard Dean is my VP.

[aka the Screeching Duo.]

So if your 'multiple quantum realities' or 'multiverse' theory holds true, then humanity will have already achieved divinity and therefore omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence in any one of those universii (one is all it would take.). With the mastery of time, space, and consciousness, linear time becomes irrelevant and theoretical quantum differentiation would also become irrelevant. We have won over oblivion no matter what. Got questions?

[Yes. Is there life after birth?]

Sweeet..Maybe one of the omnipotent, omnipotent, omniscience folks can take a break and come save our asses.

[MIGHTY MOUSE! Here he comes to save the day!]

Let's think about it...What do we have to worry about if I'm right? As far as our 'Divine Descendants' are concerned, the universe is based upon sentience... now let's not get into what is and is not sentient... Therefore, reality is gauged on the experience of it's denizens. (That would be everybody and everything) So... if they even vaguely emulate us in our quest to 'remember' everything... to know everything... would they not preserve every single thought, event, action, emotion, reality that ever occurred? Hell, I would. And if the 'multiverse' possibilities are infinite, then there is a universe wherein the denizens would, will, have, and do preserve our each and every consciousness. Remember - these entities transcend all of time and space. They are masters of consciousness... and we are a giant hard drive... part of God so to speak.

[We await the English translation of your reply.]

Actually, a President named Keel is getting ready to create a Paranormal Affairs Committee to deal with the sudden appearance of vampires, superhumans, and other strange creatures that have appeared amongst us.

[Actually Dummieland IS a giant Paranormal Affairs Committee.]

sometimes I go away to my happy place where al gore is president. Can you just imagine the world right now? the way that one factor (a certain president we all know) can just mess things up. I want to go to the parallel universe!

[Yes. I know that Happy Place. It is the place where the good folks in the white coats hand you a butterfly net to play with during recess from your rubber room.]


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