Monday, April 18, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 04-18-05 ("Freepers, republicans, bush voters, tell me why you're so unhappy!")

We have seen many examples of a severe mental problem known as DUmmie Delusional Disorder (Triple D) in the past few months. Among the symptoms of Triple D are delusional fantasies (“I BEEEELEEEVE Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20”), a complete lack of skepticism when they think something will hurt Republicans (shelling over oodles of money to con artist Bev Harris), grasping at unrealistic straws (manic joy whenever Pitt posts something about an obscure legal filing that might change the election results), and paranoid tin foil hatting (IHOP, MIHOP, etc.). Also among the many symptoms of Triple D is projection of their faults upon others. For examples, the Democrats have been stealing elections for years so now they are projecting that the Republicans have done the same with the Diebold machines. Another projection is that the Republicans are suffering from severe depression. Huh? And who won the past couple of elections? From what I’ve seen the DUmmies are in such a state of depression (they even have to “create their own reality” because they can’t cope with REAL reality) that they are now projecting their misery upon Republicans as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Freepers, republicans, bush voters, tell me why you're so unhappy!” Uh, right! Actually this Freeper is SUPREMELY happy over the general misery of the DUmmies because they provide such FANTASTIC material for the DUmmie FUnnies. So let us now enter the world of DUmmie Delusional Disorder (Triple D or 3D) and watch the DUmmie fantasies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, crying tears of laughter, is in the [brackets]:

Freepers, republicans, bush voters, tell me why you're so unhappy! Tell me why you aren't on top of the world! Tell me what's wrong!

[Herr Doktor detects de klassic case of DUmmie Delusional Disorder in DUmmie Bouncy Ball. Please continue…]

Your party is in control of the legislative branch of the United States government, the executive branch of the government and most of the judicial branch (and the ones you don't like, you just hint hint about shooting). Even more, the media seems to have its face firmly in your party's lap. Deeply entrenched in corporate America and corporate America deeply entrenched with your party. If someone were to land here from another planet, they'd think, based on your glorified victim behavior that you guys have been losing elections for time out of mind.

[Und speaking of time out of mind…vell, draw your own conclusions from dis Dummie. Herr Doktor is most interested in patient, Bouncy Ball.]

Um, but you....haven't. So what exactly is your deal? I'd love just ONE freeper/republican/bushbot to tell me why they are STILL so unhappy. Are you only happy when you're down? Are you only happy with an enemy or five? Do you secretly know your leaders are actually evil little shmucks who don't give a shit about you? Or do you just love an atmosphere of nastiness and can't get by without it? I honestly TRULY do not get it. If my party were in control the way your party was, I'd be dancing on a table somewhere. I'd be singing "Happy days are here again...." I wouldn't even NOTICE the other party, I'd be so happy about mine, so engrossed in watching the good things my elected leaders are doing. I certainly wouldn't be focusing all my time on the party out of control. They would hardly be a blip on my radar.

[Verrrrry interrresting… DUmmie patient iss now fantasizing the celebrations he vould engage in if his party had vun the election. Extreme bitterness underlying such fantasy since it vas not to be. Continue mit der insensate spiel, mein patient…]

But rush said on his show the other day that a few Democratic senators CONTROL the Senate (Kennedy, Boxer, Reid). Are you all delusional? Or do you NEED enemies? Kennedy, Boxer and Reid don't control the Senate, far from it. Do you think your party is SO weak, so ideologically sick that even when it is in COMPLETE CONTROL, three Democratic senators can take over anyway?
Explain this to me, please. I know you can't post here. But I know you read this site. And I want some of you out there to start explaining this strange thing. You don't act like winners. You act like a child who has just stolen another child's toy then spends the next hour screaming about how evil the other child is.

[Ach so! Patient now projecting being “delusional” on de odder side. Und de comment about acting like a child--yet anodder projection off de internal self. Typical symptoms of 3D. Und now mein patient, before you tell Herr Doktor about the hidden keys to de ice cream locker, dis session iss over.]

Even when he "won" I didn't see any happiness or celebration. Had Kerry won (ahem), you would have seen me dancing in the streets. It would have been a party for days. But bush wins and it's "meh" from them and much gnashing of teeth from everyone else.

[Don’t confuse lack of gloating with lack of happiness. However, we did see LOTS of unseemly gloating from the DUmmiecrats when they were celebrating their exit poll “victory” on the afternoon of Election Day.]

they're not Rush quote and you think they're unhappy. In live in DC. I see it. They're happy. Very happy.

[BINGO! Rush has a bad day with his accountants and somehow the DUmmies think that projects into unhappiness for ALL Freepers. Triple D at work again.]

I'm already a Christian but they need to f*ck off.

[Irony, thy name is DUmmie.]

They even had some big spectacular parties in D.C. but still are unhappy.

[Perhaps all that celebratory Champaign downed at the inaugural balls caused a few too many hangovers. But don’t confuse temporary discomfort with unhappiness my little 3D DUmmie.]

Where are all these communists?

[Posting in Dummieland.].p>

Maybe I shouldn't be saying anything--let them get crazier and crazier and crazier, causing more and more formerly apolitical people to wake up to their nuttiness and back away from them.

[WOW! Talk about a CLASSIC CASE of DUmmie Delusional Disorder with the Projection symptom. And speaking of “waking up to their nuttiness,” that will definitely happen IF Mary Matalin ever gets around to checking her e-mail. Thanx for giving a great reason why a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories) NEEDS to be published.]

Well, oddly enough, we have a Marxist bookstore here in Birmingham. The Pathfinder Bookstore is a front for the Socialist Worker's Party. It's weird, but we do have some resident communists. By and large, they're mainly concerned with labor issues.

[Uh-huh. Just mild mannered Marxists primarily concerned with working conditions. Oh, and I guess Fidel Castro is merely an agrarian reformer.]

or for that matter, where are all the terrorists?

[Haven’t you been reading any news about Iraq? Oops! I forgot. You DUmmies refer to them as “freedom fighters.”]

Persecution is part of their operational attitude. Basically they live in a world of fear, fear in all its manifestations and consequences.

[And projection is part of the DUmmie operational attitude. Oh, and tell us about BFEE and/or PNAC again.]

They are metaphysically afraid. They think Jesus will jump out of the closet and "get 'em" for something bad that they have done. That is where it all starts with most of them.

[With me, I thought it was the Tooth Fairy. Somehow I get VERY NERVOUS about any sort of fairy jumping out of a closet to get me.]

They really have a lot of trouble relating to the world, which they see as hostile and threatening. But they cannot see that the problem lies within them, so they project it onto somebody else. That is why they are never happy. They cannot be happy, since being happy requires some acceptance of life as it is and some willingness to be at least a little bit flexible. They cannot BE flexible, because once they start questioning ANYTHING, their whole world starts to crumble and they are back in a condition of metaphysical angst.

[Trouble relating to the world? “I BEEEELEEEVE!!!” “Create our own reality.” “IHOP or MIHOP?” “Bev Harris is just $10 away from discovering voter fraud.” Yeah, tell us again about having trouble relating to the world. Please send your report in on Jan. 20, the day Kerry is inaugurated as President.]

The fearfest gets mighty tiring. I never was into it, but I can't imagine staying in fear so much and for so long.

[Then perhaps you should consider tombstoning yourself from DUmmieland. You know. The place rife with fearfests about PNAC, BFEE, IHOP, MIHOP, and, above all, Karl Rove.]

Maybe they're jealous Mr. Clinton got some and they haven't gotten laid in a while.

[According to Mr. Clinton, he didn’t “get some” either. It depends on what your definition of “is” is.]

That's why we need to arm ourselves if you aren't.. If they get a chance, and we've all speculated about the catalyst that would give it to them, they would attempt to round us up for mass shootings. If you can snipe back at them from a distance, they're less likely to be successful in their attacks.

[What was that again about Freepers promulgating fearfests?]

It's a sign of another stolen election. A lot of people on the right are unhappy with Bush. There are also others on the right who don't want to make much of the last election because they have a feeling that bragging about it would call attention to it. A lot of *** supporters believe he lost in 2004 (and 2000) and don't want to mention his supposed victory of November. Five and a half months after our latest farcical elections is no time for the right to be reminding people that *** is still in office.

[Psst! Psst! Ixnay on talking about the previous election. Pass it along or they might find out about how we fixed the Diebold machines.]

They are not happy unless they feel persecuted.

[Okay. You can put the mirror down now and quit peering into your own soul.]

Maybe they're unhappy because, on some level, they know the country is in deep trouble yet they're NEVER wrong, so they are having a hard time reconciling their slavish devotion to a fascist regime.

[The only thing that will make me unhappy is if you DUmmies are ever cured of DUmmie Delusional Disorder since that would mean losing my DUmmie FUnnies material. Now tell us more about “slavish devotion to a fascist regime.”]

Repuks are mad at the whole world. Whereas, those that smile, open doors etc., turn out to be Dem's, or at least against what's going on if you pay attention to the remarks they make in passing.

[Yeah. DUmmiecrats are so happy and well-adjusted that they angrily smash pies into the faces of those they disagree with.]

It's as simple as they can't stand anyone not thinking like them...

[Ooooh! Ooooh! I’m so mad that liberals don’t think like me that I am going to toss pies and salad dressing at them!!!]


Blogger Icarus said...

Now THIS truly is funny! How deliciously ironic.

Are they kidding? Democrats are almost universally the saddest, most depressed, angriest people on the planet. The entire DUmmie ant farm seethes with impotent rage at just about everything.

Heck, that doom and gloom 24/7 attitude that has been the hallmark of Democrats for the last 3 decades is exactly why I LEFT the party ..... back when I voted for Dukakis, I was pretty gloomy, too.

Can someone please point me to a sad Republican? Here in Tennessee, most of us are still chuckling even 5 months later. I still giggle a little everytime I see some dork with a Kerry sticker on his car (of course, the guy with Mondale/Ferraro I saw yesterday was even funnier ...)

You nailed it - classic transference, trying to externalize their own emotions.

Sure thing, DUmmies. We're really, really bummed.


Have a nice day!

Take that, hippies! FOUR MORE YEARS!

(Funny enough, I'm smiling rather broadly even as I type ...)

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! I read the entire thing, thinking all the while, "he's talking about himself." Then, lo and behold near the end, you say this: "Okay. You can put the mirror down now and quit peering into your own soul." They seem to jockey back and forth between wishful thinking and projection! Funny stuff!

7:48 PM  

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