Friday, March 04, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies ("my date had to cancel, cheer me up")

It’s Friday night and guess what DUmmie has a HOT date tonight? If you guessed Dummie steve2470 then you would be WRONG as you can see from the title of this DUmmie THREAD: “my date had to cancel, cheer me up.” Yeah, yeah, I know some of you are a bit perturbed with me for featuring the dating woes of steve2470 and I know it is sort of wrong to laugh at him….but, DAMN, I just can’t help it! This DUmmie is providing MORE LAUGHS than a standup comedian. Plus if steve2470 truly wanted to keep from being publicly humiliated you might think he wouldn’t post his HILARIOUS dating woes on a public forum. Therefore let us now watch the Friday Night DUmmie Comedy Theater with the DUmmie laugh lines in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, rolling in the aisle from the laughter, is in the [brackets]:

my date had to cancel, cheer me up. I'm really not that bummed cuz she was so incredibly nice and motivated, just couldn't get a babysitter. Oh well, c'est la vie !

[LOL! You bought into her lame “cold sore on the lip” excuse for why she couldn’t kiss you last week and now you are falling for the equally lame, “I couldn’t get a babysitter” routine. Hello, Charlie Brown. Lucy just pulled the football away from you again. But cheer up. Lucy will also pull the football away from you again next week.]

Pay-per-view and baby oil.

[Yeah. I can picture steve2470 watching “The Happy Hooker” on the tube by himself tonight all covered in baby oil.]

what's the baby oil for?

[DUmmie Catwoman proving just how much of a DUmmie she is by asking that question.]

I'm guessing he needs a bit of help in the self-help area. Another instance when having a "convertible" is helpful.

[A cure for terminal nerdiness would also be helpful.]

Go to her house?

[Stalk her?]

can't but good idea. she has 2 little kids who don't know me yet.

[Maybe they will get to know you, steve2470, while you tap in code from outside the window while stalking your almost date.]

Good idea! Call and offer to bring pizza. If she says yes- take something for the kid. If she says, well...

[I think the guy who is really dating her right now likes pineapples on his pizza.]

um can't...she doesn't want her kids to bond with me and then have me do the disappearing number and f**k them up mentally. I respect her for that. I really do.

[She prefers that you just pull that disappearing act RIGHT NOW.]

Dates have canceled on me all the time...and they were lying, nasty people! So you see, it could be much, much worse.

[You actually think that steve2470’s almost date was telling the truth with that lame excuse about the babysitter? Which reminds me. How come steve2470 didn’t offer to pay for the babysitter? Is he that cheap? No wonder his almost date bailed on him.]

your post says 6:00, the night is young

[steve2470 has been after the same woman for 15 years with NO LUCK and you somehow expect him to score with another chick in just the next 3 or 4 hours?]


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