Wednesday, February 23, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 02-23-05 ("I make no bones about showing my disgust toward repukes")

We have yet more evidence of sabotage by Leftwing bookstore clerks in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “I make no bones about showing my disgust toward repukes.” Of course, we have heard of MANY incidents in the past where DUmmie type bookstore clerks sabotaged conservative books (such as those written by Rush Limbaugh) by either hiding them or turning their covers around. This DUmmie thread just shows how their absolute hate of conservatives causes these bookstore clerks to act in such an UNPROFESSIONAL manner. In fact, this DUmmie poster should be FIRED by his bookstore if he can ever be identified. I can just imagine the DUmmie bookstore clerks’ reactions when the DUmmie FUnnies book is published (with CD-ROM insert for the color comix). Their rage at being mocked will cause them to attempt all sorts of sabotage of the DUmmie FUnnies book. One GREAT benefit of buying a DUmmie FUnnies book is to see the look of absolute disgust and hate on the faces of the DUmmie bookstore clerks as they ring up the sale. My suggestion is to identify such clerks in advance so you know who to take the DUmmie FUnnies book to to ring it up. All we need now for this to happen is a call to me from Jeff Kleinman of the Graybill and English Literary Agency. All it takes is that one call and in the very near future you will see DUmmie bookstore clerks around the country experiencing the LIVING HELL of having to ring up the massive DUmmie FUnnies book sales. The DUmmie bookstore clerk rantings are in Bolshevik Red and the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking for a DUmmie bookstore clerk to ring up his DUmmie FUnnies book sale, is in the [brackets]:

I make no bones about showing my disgust toward repukes. So today at work, I start ringing up a herd of loud, obnoxious repukes (you can smell em a mile away.) They got stacks of kids books (no Sponge Bobs) and I handle those like any normal person would. Then I come to their stack of Bill O'Reilly books, Hannity books and a book about George Bush and each one I hold between my first finger and thumb, like they have poo poo all over them. The look on their mugs was priceless. They couldn't say anything, because I didn't say a word, but they got the message loud and clear. Then, I went into the kids section and placed Sponge Bob books in the kids bible section. Was I bad?

[More importantly, were you FIRED, DUmmie graywarrior?]

Everytime we go to a bookstore, I spend most of my time putting Michael Moore's and Al Franken's books on top of the repuke books. Sometimes I switch the dust jackets as well. I'm sorry that you have to clean that up.

[Sabotage not only by DUmmie bookstore clerks but by DUmmie bookstore customers as well.]

I am usually the one grabbing the O'Reilly book and saying (just loud enough for the person next to me who is looking at it) "What a piece of shit. And he wants to talk to my child about morals?" and then I walk away.

[I can’t wait to hear your GROANING when you see the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) in bookstores.]

I do that too! I'm an extra-large, extra-loud guy. No one ever confronts me, my wife sometimes gets embarassed though.

[Thank you for that self-description of yourself as a JERK.]

I have only had one man start to argue with me. I then announced "You're reading "The Touch That Pleases Best" and The Best of Stud Muffins In (fill in year) too? Aren't those great books! (all must be said in a very loud voice). They usually run away afterward.

[You need to run away to escape the beating you will be receiving.]

I just have fun with them. I may be short, but damn I have a mouth! F*ck 'em if they can't take a joke.

[Isn’t hard to laugh with those missing teeth?]

I did that with Anne Coulter's last book at the Salt Lake Airport. I switched the covers with Hillary's book. I did about ten of them right out in the open and didn't get caught.

[Thus causing the sales of Hillary books to skyrocket to a grand total of 10 in Salt Lake City. A record.]

That's one of the switches I made ! I would love to see the looks on the repuke faces when they sit down for a night of reading hate filled crap, only to find some,"hippy, commie" book instead !

[Note to everybody out there: When the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for the color comix) appears on the book shelves, PLEASE check the inside in case the DUmmies try to sabotage it with their cover change routine.]

What about the people expecting to read HC´s book then?

[Not a problem. NOBODY is buying Hillary’s Lying History book. I’m NOT kidding. Hillary’s book was supposed to be the BEST SELLING non-fiction book of all time and yet how many times have you actually seen people reading it? Even more telling is a visit to any flea market. You will see tons of Stephen King or Tom Clancy books being sold there but NO Hillary books. WHY? Because there are virtually NO Hillary books in circulation that can be resold at flea markets. Almost all the Hillary books are sitting in warehouses where the labor unions and other organizations, wishing to make unofficial contributions to Hillary via buying her books, have stored them.]

I wouldn't shop there again. If I went to a store, and the people at the store did that to me, I would never shop there again. Simple as that. Doesn't matter that you didn't say anything. If you walked into a store and were buying a liberal book and the salesperson did that to you would you like it? Would you shop there again? I'm guessing that you wouldn't like it and that you would voice your opinion by not shopping at that store anymore. Plus, you would come on a message board like this and start a thread about how horrible repukes are and how bad you were treated by them.


Switching covers is most excellent. My boss sticks her finger down her throat in gag fashion when we encounter repuke books. I cannot hide my distain when some morAn purchases a Bush, O'Reilly or Hannity book. I'm equally dismayed when Barbara Bush books are purchased. What can she possibly have to write about besides abusing Boy George for 57 years. We carry lots of Lehane books too. I get creeped out by people who buy those. My normal chatty mood screeches to a sudden halt when those things end up on the counter. I like the sci-fi freaks. They're so intense and serious. We placed sci-fi books next to christian fiction...seemed appropriate.

[DUmmie bookstore clerk, graywarrior, clarifying his high professionalism.]

Anyone who takes this thread seriously is a tightass

[DUmmie graywarrior now desperately backtracking as he realizes he could be FIRED for his unprofessional manner. Too late, DUmmie graywarrior. You were the one who made the original post on this thread and you were COMPLETELY SERIOUS.]


Blogger Atomic Lib Smasher said...

Good thing I googled DUmmie Funnies. I heard about this on a while back and thought I'd check it out. The Super Bowl (or in the Du's case, the Stupid Bowl) bit was HILARIOUS over at FR. Had a question though. On the thread, they had an option of whether ya wanted to be pinged on upcoming Dummie Funnies, but apparently my membership doesn't work anymore (I think I registered there last April trying to get freepers to counter protest the Rachael "Pancake" Corrie thingamabob down at Caterpillar in Peoria).. any reason why it said my posting privilages had been revoked? I'm on there as ThaSickness. If ya don't know.. at least I can check on here for updates. Great job on the blog man.

P.S. OH! And if you're interested, they got an Amazon rating site for Dummycrapsick Undertheground. Check it out here..

1:28 PM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

I would recommend you do a search on your Freeper screen name over at the Free Republic. If it is current (it should be) then just FreepMail me or post on a current DUFU thread that you want to be on the PING List.

10:14 PM  

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